Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Apr 6, 2013 15:48:06 GMT -5
So my mom and dad are folding towels at the kitchen table and I walk by and blew a big one.
BBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTT at least 4 or 5 seconds, It honestly felt great. Yeah I go "Crop dust"
My mom things I should rewash the towels.
My moms like "You stink it up in here you better rewash the towels" My dad goes "I dont know about redoing the towels but you should go wipe your butt just to make sure."
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Post by Beangirl on Apr 7, 2013 12:10:07 GMT -5
So my mom and dad are folding towels at the kitchen table and I walk by and blew a big one. BBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTT at least 4 or 5 seconds, It honestly felt great. Yeah I go "Crop dust" My mom things I should rewash the towels. My moms like "You stink it up in here you better rewash the towels" My dad goes "I dont know about redoing the towels but you should go wipe your butt just to make sure." ;D ;D ;D |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Apr 9, 2013 18:49:45 GMT -5
I just let go of a major butt blast. My dad thinks its funny my mom did not laugh at all.
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Post by angel607 on Apr 10, 2013 20:23:46 GMT -5
your farting stories never fail to crack me up lol.
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Post by DragonLady on Apr 13, 2013 16:03:31 GMT -5
Hahaha! It was a pants-checker!
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 13, 2013 21:14:48 GMT -5
I know when its air. My dad says sometimes "dont push too hard you might get more than you bargained for." But I know the difference between air biscuits and gravy. ;D
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on May 8, 2013 14:40:01 GMT -5
I got in my car and I was going to stop at the store on the way home but I suddenly had to talke a dump. Like the kind that tries to stick its turtle head out. You feel every bump in the road and you catch every light red. I finally get in the house and run upstairs, my mom goes "ok dont say hi" I go "Hi mom gotta sh.It be back in a few minutes"
I slid my pants down and sat down just on time, if Id been a moment later the muddy river would have been in my pants. It flowed forever it seemed but right now my tummy feels like a million bucks. I tried wiping but it wasnt enough I went in the shower to clean up.
I cam down stairs my moms like "everything come out ok?" I go "Yeah but I wouldnt go upstairs for a while" My moms like "I know better than to do that."
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jun 1, 2013 11:08:45 GMT -5
A few minutes ago I put my foot on the arm of my dads chair and blew a big fart right on his shoulder it was one of my long loud stinkers too.
Im so unladylike.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jun 3, 2013 20:00:32 GMT -5
I just let about five of them go
BBBBPPLLAATTTTTT......................BBBPPLLAATTT
BBBPPLLAATTT.....BBPLATTT.......BBPPLAATT.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jun 25, 2013 23:19:55 GMT -5
I just blew a fart it was a nice assertive
BBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT
My dad goes "youve been saving that one."
I go "Yeah I had to fart Im glad to finally get it out."
my mom says "did you have to point your ass at me?"
I go "I didnt have to I did it because I love you."
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jun 29, 2013 11:43:03 GMT -5
So its me, my boyfriend, my brother, my mom, dad, grandpa and grandma.
I tell them that I feel a gas bomb coming. My mom "youre going to fart!"
me "Yeah"
Me lift a cheek BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLAAATTTTTTTTTTT
My mom angry, my dad finding it funny. MY brother more or less finds it funny, my grandma is like "thats so wrong for a pretty girl"
My grandpa is like "Yay Kimmy"
We are strange group.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jul 6, 2013 12:30:26 GMT -5
I just leaned over and go "incoming" and I blew a fart.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT
my dad goes "you might have tore your pants."
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Post by angel607 on Jul 7, 2013 23:30:18 GMT -5
you should keep a farting journel because you have some of the best stories ever.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jul 9, 2013 21:43:23 GMT -5
you should keep a farting journel because you have some of the best stories ever. Thanks. I dont plan on closing up my butt anytime soon. lol ;D |
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jul 13, 2013 8:56:49 GMT -5
So my friend Renee, and I were out on the deck a little bit ago and Renee goes "Shhh, listen" and she farted BBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT
While we were laughing I let one go BBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTT
My dad comes out and goes "all this laughing are you two going to be ok?" Renee goes "we both farted."
My dads like "ok carry on try not to crap yourselves."
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jul 14, 2013 13:43:44 GMT -5
Just now I had twin poppers
You know,
BBBPPPLLLAAAAATTT...................................BBBBPPPLLLAAATTTTTTTTTTT
My dad goes "Nice!" My mom goes "Not nice"a
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jul 29, 2013 17:57:03 GMT -5
I put the tv on Mute and farted
BBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Yeah the air smells sweet now. ;D
My dads like "oh yeah Kimmy pops a cheek, my mom goes " Kimmy sh!ts her pants that was gross."
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Aug 10, 2013 11:32:09 GMT -5
I farted in my car on the way home from the store my mom and my cousin were like marinated in the vapors it was a long loud
BBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT
My mom goes "KIMMMM HOLY F!" My cousin Paul goes "That was nice!"
But then my tummy shifts a bit and I had to poop like theres going out of style. I said how fast we have to get home because I suddenly have to poop. My mom goes "It smells like you already started. And yeah it was one of my best works.
So we get in the driveway and I go to my cousin "Paul bring in the groceries I have to get upstairs and sh!t my brains out"
My mom goes "you would have to have brains to do that."
So I get up there hoping that each little squeaker fart that slides out my butt isnt going to leave fudge stripes behind. I get upstairs step by step and a little squeaker slides out ever second or third step. Finally I sit down and blast out five or 6 bomb classic farts. Then it becomes a marathon dump. ;D
So I get downstairs my brother, my dad, my cousin and my mom applaud my dad goes "I suppose its unsafe to go upstairs for a while." I go "Yeah I would advise not to."
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