Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jan 13, 2012 21:33:58 GMT -5
I guess we know what my New Years resolution must not have been,
Ok so I just now blew a fart. It was a BBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAATTT Me, my dad and my brother are laughing our heads off my mom goes "Im getting out of here." My boyfriend comes in my mom goes "you probably dont want to go into the living room theres major fart in there." My boyfriend comes in and grabs his nose right away and goes to me "I assume you did it?"
I go "Yep it was me" Then we all lost it again.
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jan 21, 2012 15:24:40 GMT -5
This can be me and my friends.
If Britney Spears can go through this I can say that I was within my rights Thursday night.
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Post by Blastgirl on Jan 22, 2012 3:36:31 GMT -5
There was a lot of farting this afternoon. Me, ;D. Kimm, My Cousin Jenn and my Aunt Barb must all have farted at least twenty times.
My Mom told my Dad that "you have a Sister, a Niece and two Daughters with major gas issues."
My Dad said that he was pleased with us all. ;D
I let out a big one while sitting on the floor I have my knees bent and I shifted my weight to lift my butt and it was a good one. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTT
My Aunt Barb said, "That seems to the the consensus of this group."
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jan 22, 2012 16:02:19 GMT -5
Awww you should have told this story much better.
Ok she was on the floor back against the coffee table knees against chest hands together around the shins in the cannon ball position. Then she goes "A Bomb" And then lifts a cheek then she blew the fart.
My Aunt Barb said whatever she said but Im like "Sis you are my mentor and the godess of gas passing masters"
Anyway. I was at Dennys about an hour ago with my Aunt Barb, my cousin Jenn and my uncle Fred and my cousin Paul. Well Jenn farted kind of an average BBBBBPPPLLAAAATT My aunt Barb goes "Must have been good hash browns. Ive been cutting them all day." My uncle Fred goes "I really needed to know that"
Jenn goes "Did the barking spiders scare you dad" Fred goes "can we talk about something else for a change? When you 3 get together all you ever discuss is farting and what gives you gas." Jenn goes "sorry dad but thats about all we do"
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Post by Beangirl on Jan 22, 2012 20:48:05 GMT -5
LOL! Yeah, Denny's does it to me too. ;D
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Jan 25, 2012 23:35:55 GMT -5
I did one a few minutes ago that lasted forever. It was like Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbpppppppppppppppppppppllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
That was definitely the result of onions and green peppers on pizza.
My dad goes "I was wondering when your butt was ever going to shut off.
I go "You like that?"
My dads like "yeah actually"
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Post by Beangirl on Jan 26, 2012 14:07:09 GMT -5
I did one a few minutes ago that lasted forever. It was like Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbpppppppppppppppppppppllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttt That was definitely the result of onions and green peppers on pizza. My dad goes "I was wondering when your butt was ever going to shut off. I go "You like that?" My dads like "yeah actually" I farted and my dad thought it was funny my mom goes "your father might think its funny but I think its gross." oh....hahah this is funny......... I go to my dad "You take my side over mons? My dad goes "Of course, shes only my wife, your my girl. That hols much more rank!" lol PEE Eweeeee!!!! "Rank" is the word! ;D |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jan 26, 2012 20:01:23 GMT -5
Hahahaaaaaaaaahhh!
This morning I woke up but realized I had a few minutes so I stayed in bed for a few. Well then I farted (I had pizza with onions and green peppers last night! ;D
Well the fumes came through the covers and attacked me so I figured that was my cue to get up and shower and get ready. So I grabbed my stuff to head for the shower but I farted again before I walked out of my room. While Im in the shower my mom was collecting laundry from each room and walks into my room and starts flipping out.
My mom shouts that I can hear her over the shower and goes "KKIIIIIMMMMM YOU crap YOUR PANTS IN YOUR ROOOOMMMMMMMM" I almsot fell down in the shower and I shouted back "YOU WALKED THROUGH MY FART ZONE!" ;D
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Post by Phil on Jan 27, 2012 14:02:51 GMT -5
'Fart zone' Kimm you are quite a lady you must be a laugh a minute.
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jan 28, 2012 15:48:07 GMT -5
I was pretty funny earlier.
I lifted a cheek and blew two farts
BBBBBBPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAATTT.....................BBBBBBBBBPPPLLLAAAAAAAATTTT
My mom goes "I suppose you feel better? I go Yeah actually I do."
My dad goes "you look better, but you DON'T SMELL BETTER"
Breaking wind is so much fun.
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Feb 2, 2012 0:02:03 GMT -5
Haha I just farted BBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT It was a long one and it reeks. My mom, my brother and my sister (Tammy not blastgirl) scurried away. My dad walks in with popcorn in one hand and Gatorade in the other gets a whiff and goes "I assume that was you" Laughing hysterically I go "Why yest it was!"
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Feb 6, 2012 21:17:09 GMT -5
We had pizza and chicken wings for the Super Bowl party at our house.
And I like the extra hot wings.
Oh yeah!!! I farted all through the game and Had major cramps all day since I cant just let fly there. Once I got to my car it was like "Yay I can finally fart." I get home and I was kind of in a chipper mood my mom goes "Why are you so giddy" I go "Ive had bad gas all day and I had to hold it, but I farted all the way home." My moms like "Sorry I asked." ;D
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Post by angel607 on Feb 7, 2012 0:35:16 GMT -5
i love Britney's sense of humor. Kimm's farting stories always bring a smile to my face.
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Feb 7, 2012 23:13:55 GMT -5
I lifted my left cheek and farted. BBBBBBBBPPPPPPLLLLLAAATTTTTTTTTTT
then I lifted my right cheek and did it again. BBBBBBBBPPPPLLLLLAAATTTTTTTTTTTT
My mom goes "you could have pointed your ass away from me"
I go "I did at first then I lifted the other cheek for the encore."
My dad goes "Shes an equal opportunity farter"
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Feb 13, 2012 21:17:45 GMT -5
Sauerkraut for supper. And Ive been ripping off long burning stinky farts.
I was sitting on my boyfriends feet in front of the couch and he was behind me massaging my shoulders watching TV and oh yeah I farted. BBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT
It reeked enough my mom brings in the glade, my dad goes to my boyfriend "Ever get a hot foot that way before?" I go "just spreading valentines Joy.
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Feb 18, 2012 14:41:58 GMT -5
Ok so Ive blasted off at least a dozen good ass bombs.
That bean and weenie casserole has kicked in at its max. Gassed out my family a lot today.
I made mention Id like to help with a local play and my dad goes "we are all behind you, at least 2 blocks behind you!"
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Feb 25, 2012 0:35:46 GMT -5
Haha So EPIC!
A few minutes ago I went up to my brothers chair and pointed my ass at him and said "look out Im going to fart on you"
He was texting and turned at me and goes "what?"
Just as he turned toward me his face was just a few inches behind butt and I farted
BBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT
I blew it right in his face. My mom goes "how gross" My dad goes "Kimmy slammed you Dan!"
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Feb 28, 2012 23:10:37 GMT -5
 My dad said I should sell my ass to Exxon and Id be rich. ;D |
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