Post by Mahnarch on Sept 19, 2007 1:10:51 GMT -5
OH, man.
I don't hang in the 'Farts' section very often.
Even at Farts.com I was usually in the "Non-Farts" threads, spewing out vast amounts of knowledge and doing interviews (which I think I'll be starting again here, soon) but, I do have a lot of fart related stories.
***
As everyone who knows me in real life knows, I am the god of fahrtin' und schmellin'.
And, when you go to a buddies house for the explicit reason of drinking and....well, just drinking, you tend to stay the night at their house and sleep/pass out on their couch.
I'm not lightweight when it comes to beers (semi-recovering alcoholic) and I can drink an Irishman under the table.
It's what Germans do.
I once spent the night at a friends house (female friend - new husband) in Grand Rapids and stayed on the couch.
I remember 'coming to' at around 6am on that saturday morning with a huge bubble in my gut and, forgetting where I was, let out a nice, long, unsupressed, loud 'pppffffffffffffftttttttttttttt' that lasted a good 30 seconds (not exaggerating).
Then I re-passed out.
About the crack of noon I re-unpassed out and was face to face with my friend's dog who was sniffing my nose.
*pfttt*
The dog jumped.
I sit up, giggling, to find my lady friend watching TV.
Her: "I was wondering when your stink was going to wake you up."
She filled me in on the fact that her husband had woke up around 5:30am and got around for work.
I, apparantly, greeted him with an almost continuous stream of colon air and he woke up his wife to see if I was ok. (Since he only met me the night before.)
She told him that "That's normal for Doug." and he left.
She got up around 8am and tried to watch TV while I continued to 'overdubb' her TV shows until noon.
OH, man. How embarrassing and funny at the same time.
And, believe me, I can produce mass quantities in short amounts of time. Almost on demand.
I don't hang in the 'Farts' section very often.
Even at Farts.com I was usually in the "Non-Farts" threads, spewing out vast amounts of knowledge and doing interviews (which I think I'll be starting again here, soon) but, I do have a lot of fart related stories.
***
As everyone who knows me in real life knows, I am the god of fahrtin' und schmellin'.
And, when you go to a buddies house for the explicit reason of drinking and....well, just drinking, you tend to stay the night at their house and sleep/pass out on their couch.
I'm not lightweight when it comes to beers (semi-recovering alcoholic) and I can drink an Irishman under the table.
It's what Germans do.
I once spent the night at a friends house (female friend - new husband) in Grand Rapids and stayed on the couch.
I remember 'coming to' at around 6am on that saturday morning with a huge bubble in my gut and, forgetting where I was, let out a nice, long, unsupressed, loud 'pppffffffffffffftttttttttttttt' that lasted a good 30 seconds (not exaggerating).
Then I re-passed out.
About the crack of noon I re-unpassed out and was face to face with my friend's dog who was sniffing my nose.
*pfttt*
The dog jumped.
I sit up, giggling, to find my lady friend watching TV.
Her: "I was wondering when your stink was going to wake you up."
She filled me in on the fact that her husband had woke up around 5:30am and got around for work.
I, apparantly, greeted him with an almost continuous stream of colon air and he woke up his wife to see if I was ok. (Since he only met me the night before.)
She told him that "That's normal for Doug." and he left.
She got up around 8am and tried to watch TV while I continued to 'overdubb' her TV shows until noon.
OH, man. How embarrassing and funny at the same time.
And, believe me, I can produce mass quantities in short amounts of time. Almost on demand.
