aido179
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posts: 5867
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Post by aido179 on Aug 21, 2007 17:36:13 GMT -5
farting in school and at work has always been a habit/hobby of mine. The old silent but deadly and "my chair is creaky" tricks work. but the best is the last day of exams we had this year...
picture 40 pupils in a hot room with no circulation and all working hard to finish on time. I was on the last section when I felt it comming. Rummbling if you will.
Well it came out in a great manor, steaming with the loudest pharp you could imagine. I was in fits of laughter all over my desk and I thought there would be no question that it was me.
when I finally look over to the guy beside me and go "you smelly b*stard" I didnt think it would work. I was amazed when everyones attention was directed to him.
apparently he farted aswell and didnt notice my "noise". That was a fart to remember...........
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Post by Blastgirl on Aug 21, 2007 23:10:55 GMT -5
Work and school seem to beget reactions. I remember one time my Mom and I went to a Plaza and I got back to the car first. While I was waiting I let one go. ;D well it was a long burning SBD and my Mom gets back to the car gets in and it hit her.
She turns to me and said "You LITTLE B'Word.!" She told everybody about how she "Got ambushed by my Daughter." ;D
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Post by Beangirl on Aug 23, 2007 11:26:31 GMT -5
:oI cut the worst SBD ever in the sixth grade. We were having a film and the drapes were drawn. It was September and around 100 degrees outside. My best friend Lori was sitting next to me and she contorted in agony as she got a wiff of it! I was laughing my head off! All the other kids were turning around in there seats trying not to notice the stench. What a memory. ;D
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Aug 26, 2007 13:57:33 GMT -5
WORK!!! I have tons of fart stories from work. I fart a lot for a girl.
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Post by werwoof on Aug 27, 2007 2:37:20 GMT -5
farting in school and at work has always been a habit/hobby of mine. The old silent but deadly and "my chair is creaky" tricks work. but the best is the last day of exams we had this year... picture 40 pupils in a hot room with no circulation and all working hard to finish on time. I was on the last section when I felt it comming. Rummbling if you will. Well it came out in a great manor, steaming with the loudest pharp you could imagine. I was in fits of laughter all over my desk and I thought there would be no question that it was me. when I finally look over to the guy beside me and go "you smelly b*stard" I didnt think it would work. I was amazed when everyones attention was directed to him. apparently he farted aswell and didnt notice my "noise". That was a fart to remember........... KLASSIC!!! That story gets a solid "A".  I'm a retired letter carrier. My stories are mostly gross. My Army stories are pretty funny, tho. Gross but funny. Eeurgh.  |
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aido179
Moderator
posts: 5867
Posts: 458
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Post by aido179 on Aug 27, 2007 13:12:12 GMT -5
HAHA, cant wait to hear a few
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Post by Mahnarch on Sept 7, 2007 1:56:06 GMT -5
Yeah! I wanna hear old Army stories!!!
Where you stationed anywhere, or was it 'friendly fire'?
Ha!
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 8, 2007 12:33:01 GMT -5
When I lean as a way of warning that theres 1 coming my dad says "I see Kimmy pops a cheek" a little earlier I smiled and leaned over and my dad goes "Yeah Kimmys about to share some words of wisdom."
It was a fairly long.
BBBBBPPPPPLLLLLLLAAAAATTTTTTTTT
A few seconds later I kind of machine gun butted.
BPLAT BPLATT
BPALT BPLAT
about 10 times and my dad goes "That was an ambush!"
I go "Yeah it kind of was, sorry."
In seconds it reeked. OH YEAH!
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Post by Mahnarch on Sept 9, 2007 16:11:45 GMT -5
I machine gunned Demona on YIM the other day.
She asked, I provided!!
LOL.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 22, 2007 11:50:55 GMT -5
Yesterday at Burger King my friend Renee, my boyfriend and me were talking about whatever mish mash and I felt 1 coming on so I leaned over and let go a long loud.
BBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
My boyfriend jolted and knocked off his hat. But when we got to my house my this got talked about and my boyfriend tells my mom "Yeah Kim farted so loud she blew my hat off."
My mom goes "We know all about Kimmies cosmic butt thunder.
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Post by Mahnarch on Sept 22, 2007 16:53:41 GMT -5
Cosmic Butt Thunder.....
I now see how the Andromeda galaxy got started.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 22, 2007 16:59:05 GMT -5
Cosmic Butt Thunder..... I now see how the Andromeda galaxy got started. It is all gasses. ;D |
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Post by latenighter on Sept 12, 2008 7:33:26 GMT -5
Who here remembers either the wooden chairs, or worse the molded plastic chairs at school? ;D
A quick story when I was in school, yeah the wheel had just been invented lol, well anyway... I was seated up the back in a classroom full of other 14 year olds when I felt the dreaded urge. I knew by the feeling I would NOT make it out the door without some collateral damage so I leaned forward to try find the hole at the back of the seat.
I did not!
Instead my butt found the perfect angle to turn a harmless plastic chair into a resonance chamber from hell.
I cut a fart that reminded me of a train coming out of a tunnel. It was loud and long and left no one in doubt where it come from. I looked up to see the teacher standing at the blackboard with a stunned look on his face. He dropped the chalk and just stood there like a deer in headlights.
Well the smell was absolutely horrible, onion rings, hotdogs and a chicken and garlic roll, but to make matters worse the fart hit the ceiling fans and spread ALL around the class.
I got sent to the principal's office over that and warned if I ever cut a fart that bad again I'd be sent home. lol.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 12, 2008 20:42:06 GMT -5
I got sent out of classrooms I dont know how many times. Sent out in the hall or made to write 100 times or I think once even 500 times "I will not pass gas in school" Once or twice it was even I will not fart in school. I did anyway though. ;D my mom and dad had to sign it sometimes.
Some othertimes I got told that was unladylike and I should be ashamed.
Wood or plastic or any hard seat is good. McDonalds chairs, Hardees benches, great amplifiers.
Theres a wood window seat at our house my sister and I have made famous for vibrational butt echoes.
The other day my dad my brother and I went to a place that the chairs are wood. Just as I went to sit down I let out a mild BPLAT.
My dad goes "why do you always pick the creaky chairs, Kimmy?" I go "I think they find me."
ps Latenighter, how did you find us, or did you know us from the original farts forum? Its nice to have you here. Welcome.
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Post by latenighter on Sept 13, 2008 12:25:54 GMT -5
ps Latenighter, how did you find us, or did you know us from the original farts forum? Its nice to have you here. Welcome. Ohh I am a newbie Kim, well newbie here anyway lol. I ran a google search for "fart" and this place came up. |
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 13, 2008 12:41:14 GMT -5
Its nice to meet you.
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Post by Beangirl on Sept 13, 2008 14:07:15 GMT -5
Welcome Late nighter... Just the fact that you GOOGLED "Fart" makes you one of us already. Enjoy!
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Post by latenighter on Sept 15, 2008 12:39:19 GMT -5
Here is something that happened to me today, I was visiting a government department, the ATO (Aussie version of the IRS  ) on business. Well to give you all a little background, for the past three days I have been doing SBDs so rank they even made me toss my cookies a few times. Well anyway I went into their offices for an audit and while I was going up in the elevator I felt the old rumble. I was glad I was doing SBDs because it was packed. I knew it was bad because it was just a warm fomph of HOT air. Well people in the elevator started to look around, looking for the culprit, and I did the same thing. Two seconds later ther lift stopped on a floor and I don't think none of us cared if it was our floor we all piled out. ;D Well eventually I made it to the floor and the cubie of the person involved. As I was sitting there listening to their BS over why they think I owe them MORE money I let out a few really rank ones. After about the fifth the person opposite me ran! It was only then that I realised that the cubie jungle I was in had gone from noise, to DEAD SILENCE! Ohh and Kimmy, remember what the great Scottish Comedian Billy Connelly once said. "You don't choose to fart, it chooses you. You are not the culprit, you are the victim!" Words to live by lol. |
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