Post by tehcontrastizorz on Oct 21, 2007 20:05:27 GMT -5
The importance of being a prube
P1 walks in carrying some item of mysterious origin.
P1: *sighs* man what a day *looks up* Wait a second who are you! *points*
P2: (with mask on and petting dog) hey
P1: WHO ARE YOU
P2: (without mask and dog) you look like you had a bad day
P1: Oh yeah hey p2, I got expelled again JUST because I cock slapped Lenny the janitor.
Voice: Sounds rough
P1: GAAAH p2 who is this guy? And why is he wearing my clothes? *points at P3 who is wearing the exact clothes P1 just was*
P3: Hey man chill we’re having a sleepover man *inaudible mumbling for extended period*
*See a man hiding in the curtains slip and fall out*
Man: crapz
P2: Did you see that?
P3: See what
P2: the curtain! I think someone is hiding behind it
*looks at curtain man just says cuuurtain*
P1: See? It’s just a curtain. Ah any ways you think I’m gonna let you guys have a sleepover at my house when you break in, steal my clothes, and kill my cat *camera sweeps over bon fire ritual leftovers made of burnt paper*
P2: Well yeah
P1: I’ll go get the chips!
*Fades to black as text that reads: Several hours earlier. Appears on screen*
*We see a man in black sneak up to the front door. Trys to open door but it’s locked. Looks up and taped to the door is a sign reading: “This is NOT the door code” with the code written under it. Man shrugs and enters it. Once he is inside he hears someone come towards the door, In a panic the man hides behind the curtains*
*P2 and P3 enter room*
P2: Oh dude is this all right with p1, us just breaking into his house?
P3: Of course man I used to do this in college all the time when I was a professional fish monger *memory pops up of a photoshop of P3 at fish monger shop*
*screen goes purple and text reads “hours later”*
*we come into a room with all three guys stitting on couches etc. catch p1 in mid-sentence*
P1: So I was like “But officer how was I supposed to know that selling organs was against the law?”
P2: Dear Christ p1 you have the be the WORST ghost story teller in the universe. My nose is bleeding look at that. *shows close up of ketchup on the floor* Man you suck
P3: Speaking of sucking I’m thirsty anyone else want some roofies-I MEAN Soda, Yeah that’s it just regular old soda NO roofies
P1: No thanks
P2: sure
*P3 exists*
P1: Hey p2 did I ever tell you the story of how I got arrested for selling organs on the black market?
P2: For the love of Christ *P2’s insanity voice* SHUT THE gently caress UP *throws banana*
*Cut to a dark room with barely any light*
P3: Oh man why does p1 have to keep his soda in the cellar. Man I can barely see in here.
*P3 rummages around a little until we see the man in black sneak up on him*
P3: Jesus p1 you scared me! Oh wait you’re not p1! Your not p1 at all
Man: Hey kid does this rag smell like perfume? Because my sister came over the other day and I think she’s addicted to the stuff, well in a round-about way I’m trying to say SNIFF THIS crap
P3: Let me see *sniffs rag* Yes that is defiantly perfu…*falls over dead*
*goes back to p2 & p1 in room*
P2: where the hell is that slacker? I asked for that soda hours ago
P1: Yeah that IS pretty weird that he never came back. It’s been what 8 hours?
P2: At least
P1: oh man I am definitely hungry let’s go get some captain crunch!
Voice: Hey kid
P1: what? Who are you? WHY DO PEOPLE FIND IT SO EASY TO BREAK INTO MY HOUSE?!?!?!
Guy: umm I’m Jim
P2: why did you come in here?
guy: Umm well about that *walks over to TV* IMMA STEALIN CABLE!!!!!
P1: umm right then anyway lets go get some food
*Kitchen*
P1: We need to go look for P3, but first, cereal time!
*looks at counter and we see P3’s dead corpse p1 doesn’t notice*
P1: HOLY HELL
P2: what?
P1: We’re all out of cereal damn
P2: What are you talking about!? THERES A DEAD BODY AND IT’S OF OUR DEAR FRIEND!
P1: Oh yeah I think I have some in my cellar. Hey go down and get another box
P2: but….but….why do I have to do it?
P1: Because I said so! And you totally owe me after I got you the antidote for that disease you contracted that time in Bermuda
P2: But you’re the one who gave me it in the first place!
P1: *blackest voice P1 can do* MOVE SLAVE HONKEY!
*p2 walks away*
P2: god damnit where the hell does that psychop1h keep all his stuff? Damn
*man in black sneaks up behind again*
Man: Excuse me sir could you tell me if this rag smells of perfume?
P2: huh? Oh sur-hey wait a second! I’m not going to fall for that I invented that trick in the mid-eighties!
Man: damn….well then…*mirror*
P2: OH SWEET LORD *dead*
*kitchen*
P1: Ok well seeing as how those two have obviously been murdered by now, I think I will go check out the basement completely unarmed.
*p1 goes down into cellar and walks around. Sees p2’s dead body. Gasps. All of a sudden the lights turn off*
P1: what whos there? I have a cat! *pull out cat*
*man in a dress appears out of the shadows*
P1: who are you, why did you kill my friends? And why are you wearing my knight gown?
Man: What? Oh sorry *walks out and comes back in black clothing ninja style* Now then where were we?
P1: I was asking you why you killed my friends!
Man: I need their souls for my transformation *evil ass scary voice* BWAHAHAHAHAHA hey wait are you paying attention
*goes to p1 playing DS*
P1: Wh..what? oh yeah sorry I got bored NOW LETS DANCE!
*P1 pulls out gun*
Man: what? What are you doing?
*p1 shoots man, mortally wounding him*
Man: How did you know my weakness was a bullet to my lungs?
P1: are you kidding? I’m of a higher level!
Man: SHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *dies*
*p2 and p3 walk in*
P1: Holy hell I thought you were dead!
P2: no we just did this as a lesson to never leave your door locked!
P3: Yeah! You never know who will walk in- OH MY GOD
P1: what?
P3: JESUS P1 YOU KILLED BRAD!
P1: oh god I thought he was gonna kill me
P3: You stupid crap! How are we gonna get our deposit back on that outfit huh? You think money grows on trees?
P2: *shakes head in shame until screen goes black*
P1 walks in carrying some item of mysterious origin.
P1: *sighs* man what a day *looks up* Wait a second who are you! *points*
P2: (with mask on and petting dog) hey
P1: WHO ARE YOU
P2: (without mask and dog) you look like you had a bad day
P1: Oh yeah hey p2, I got expelled again JUST because I cock slapped Lenny the janitor.
Voice: Sounds rough
P1: GAAAH p2 who is this guy? And why is he wearing my clothes? *points at P3 who is wearing the exact clothes P1 just was*
P3: Hey man chill we’re having a sleepover man *inaudible mumbling for extended period*
*See a man hiding in the curtains slip and fall out*
Man: crapz
P2: Did you see that?
P3: See what
P2: the curtain! I think someone is hiding behind it
*looks at curtain man just says cuuurtain*
P1: See? It’s just a curtain. Ah any ways you think I’m gonna let you guys have a sleepover at my house when you break in, steal my clothes, and kill my cat *camera sweeps over bon fire ritual leftovers made of burnt paper*
P2: Well yeah
P1: I’ll go get the chips!
*Fades to black as text that reads: Several hours earlier. Appears on screen*
*We see a man in black sneak up to the front door. Trys to open door but it’s locked. Looks up and taped to the door is a sign reading: “This is NOT the door code” with the code written under it. Man shrugs and enters it. Once he is inside he hears someone come towards the door, In a panic the man hides behind the curtains*
*P2 and P3 enter room*
P2: Oh dude is this all right with p1, us just breaking into his house?
P3: Of course man I used to do this in college all the time when I was a professional fish monger *memory pops up of a photoshop of P3 at fish monger shop*
*screen goes purple and text reads “hours later”*
*we come into a room with all three guys stitting on couches etc. catch p1 in mid-sentence*
P1: So I was like “But officer how was I supposed to know that selling organs was against the law?”
P2: Dear Christ p1 you have the be the WORST ghost story teller in the universe. My nose is bleeding look at that. *shows close up of ketchup on the floor* Man you suck
P3: Speaking of sucking I’m thirsty anyone else want some roofies-I MEAN Soda, Yeah that’s it just regular old soda NO roofies
P1: No thanks
P2: sure
*P3 exists*
P1: Hey p2 did I ever tell you the story of how I got arrested for selling organs on the black market?
P2: For the love of Christ *P2’s insanity voice* SHUT THE gently caress UP *throws banana*
*Cut to a dark room with barely any light*
P3: Oh man why does p1 have to keep his soda in the cellar. Man I can barely see in here.
*P3 rummages around a little until we see the man in black sneak up on him*
P3: Jesus p1 you scared me! Oh wait you’re not p1! Your not p1 at all
Man: Hey kid does this rag smell like perfume? Because my sister came over the other day and I think she’s addicted to the stuff, well in a round-about way I’m trying to say SNIFF THIS crap
P3: Let me see *sniffs rag* Yes that is defiantly perfu…*falls over dead*
*goes back to p2 & p1 in room*
P2: where the hell is that slacker? I asked for that soda hours ago
P1: Yeah that IS pretty weird that he never came back. It’s been what 8 hours?
P2: At least
P1: oh man I am definitely hungry let’s go get some captain crunch!
Voice: Hey kid
P1: what? Who are you? WHY DO PEOPLE FIND IT SO EASY TO BREAK INTO MY HOUSE?!?!?!
Guy: umm I’m Jim
P2: why did you come in here?
guy: Umm well about that *walks over to TV* IMMA STEALIN CABLE!!!!!
P1: umm right then anyway lets go get some food
*Kitchen*
P1: We need to go look for P3, but first, cereal time!
*looks at counter and we see P3’s dead corpse p1 doesn’t notice*
P1: HOLY HELL
P2: what?
P1: We’re all out of cereal damn
P2: What are you talking about!? THERES A DEAD BODY AND IT’S OF OUR DEAR FRIEND!
P1: Oh yeah I think I have some in my cellar. Hey go down and get another box
P2: but….but….why do I have to do it?
P1: Because I said so! And you totally owe me after I got you the antidote for that disease you contracted that time in Bermuda
P2: But you’re the one who gave me it in the first place!
P1: *blackest voice P1 can do* MOVE SLAVE HONKEY!
*p2 walks away*
P2: god damnit where the hell does that psychop1h keep all his stuff? Damn
*man in black sneaks up behind again*
Man: Excuse me sir could you tell me if this rag smells of perfume?
P2: huh? Oh sur-hey wait a second! I’m not going to fall for that I invented that trick in the mid-eighties!
Man: damn….well then…*mirror*
P2: OH SWEET LORD *dead*
*kitchen*
P1: Ok well seeing as how those two have obviously been murdered by now, I think I will go check out the basement completely unarmed.
*p1 goes down into cellar and walks around. Sees p2’s dead body. Gasps. All of a sudden the lights turn off*
P1: what whos there? I have a cat! *pull out cat*
*man in a dress appears out of the shadows*
P1: who are you, why did you kill my friends? And why are you wearing my knight gown?
Man: What? Oh sorry *walks out and comes back in black clothing ninja style* Now then where were we?
P1: I was asking you why you killed my friends!
Man: I need their souls for my transformation *evil ass scary voice* BWAHAHAHAHAHA hey wait are you paying attention
*goes to p1 playing DS*
P1: Wh..what? oh yeah sorry I got bored NOW LETS DANCE!
*P1 pulls out gun*
Man: what? What are you doing?
*p1 shoots man, mortally wounding him*
Man: How did you know my weakness was a bullet to my lungs?
P1: are you kidding? I’m of a higher level!
Man: SHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *dies*
*p2 and p3 walk in*
P1: Holy hell I thought you were dead!
P2: no we just did this as a lesson to never leave your door locked!
P3: Yeah! You never know who will walk in- OH MY GOD
P1: what?
P3: JESUS P1 YOU KILLED BRAD!
P1: oh god I thought he was gonna kill me
P3: You stupid crap! How are we gonna get our deposit back on that outfit huh? You think money grows on trees?
P2: *shakes head in shame until screen goes black*
