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Post by Phil on Mar 13, 2007 14:28:25 GMT -5
As all of you know I'm Polish. I swear I know every Polish joke.
I know it's impossible for 1 person to know All of them, so post a Polish joke and see if I know the answer.
I have been teased for my full life being that my name is
Ostrotkiewicz I always say if you get that right you win a cigar.
I tend to be called Oss-tro-ko-wits and I don't bother to correct people anymore.
But it's properly said OSS-trot-KEY-veech.
Anyway, it takes 3 of us to change a light bulb. One to hold the bulb and 2 to turn the ladder.
It takes 5 to pop corn, 1 to hold the pot and 4 to shake the oven.
Once I brought a car door on a woods hike so I can roll down a window if it gets hot.
Try me I know my Polish jokes
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Post by Peon on Mar 13, 2007 14:39:58 GMT -5
How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree? Wave.
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Post by Phil on Mar 13, 2007 15:02:13 GMT -5
Defintaely wave to him.
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Post by Blastgirl on Mar 14, 2007 22:33:25 GMT -5
I don't know if I can say such jokes because they seem so mean.
I'll try to remember some.
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Post by Mahnarch on Aug 18, 2007 17:51:42 GMT -5
Dieh mei booji, Phil! Let me join in: Side 1 "How do you keep a Polock busy for hours? See other side." Side B "How do you keep a Polock busy for hours? See other side." *** "Pop a wheelie!" (in random conversation) Let them figure it out. *** My ancestor's were German, with a Polish step-grandma. Sorry for invading your land, Phil..... I feel bad every day.   |
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Post by Phil on Aug 19, 2007 14:39:09 GMT -5
No problem my land is Bradford, PA.
Yes I remember both jokes the card and the pop a wheelie thing.
And I can't make Kool-Aid because I can't get a gallon of water in that little paper bag.
I lost the recipe for ice cubes.
I get 17 friends together to go to the movies because under 17 are not admitted.
Try again lets see if anybody knows 1 I've never heard before.
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Post by Mahnarch on Aug 19, 2007 16:00:02 GMT -5
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Post by Phil on Aug 20, 2007 13:46:55 GMT -5
There's 2 answers to the submarine
they were hot underwater and decided to open the windows
and I forget the other answer but there are 2 I've heard it both ways.
Don't know on the rake you win a cookie.
And you were mentioned last in the 50th video because you were the newest lewasite member at the time of the filming. I promise I will buy a tripod soon.
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Post by Slayzie on Aug 21, 2007 3:02:50 GMT -5
Why did the Polish guy cross the road? Don't know? Neither does he!
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Post by Mahnarch on Aug 21, 2007 11:06:56 GMT -5
Woo Hoo! A cookie! It takes forever to rake the yard because he constantly has to move the ladder around in his trees. ...or something like that. I forget the exact wording, now. Too hepped up on the sugar from my cookie!  And, answer #2 for the sub. Because they put screen doors on the subs. |
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Post by roflstunts on Aug 21, 2007 12:25:15 GMT -5
Why are Polish folk joked on for being braindead?
Is there a major event in history that somehow labled them as foolish?
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Post by Phil on Aug 21, 2007 13:29:46 GMT -5
Why are Polish folk joked on for being braindead? Is there a major event in history that somehow labled them as foolish? I guess so. I think that we have a way of being stubborn and that makes refusing to conform gets responded by 'you dumb polak,' Also by what I'm told Polish Americans spoke Polish in the hosue more than some other groups and that caused the next generation to have an accent. My grandfather, well he is dead now but he spoke Polish and he would say that his parents barely learned to speak English. He was born in the United States and lived here all his life but he had a heavy Polish accent. Yet my father doesn't speak Polish at all. My grandfathers age group may have seemed dumb for not having more accent free English. I don't know how it starts. I have heard the screen doors answer but I forgot about it. And I should have known the raking the leaves off the trees too. My lightbulb is out. I better call my father, my brother and a few other Polaks to spin the ladder for me. |
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Post by Mahnarch on Aug 23, 2007 1:33:07 GMT -5
Ha! Just don't jump out of the falling airplane with the boyscout's back pack, Phil!
Oh, I ruined my chance at getting another cookie!!
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Post by dannyboy on Aug 24, 2007 21:37:27 GMT -5
For a cookie I have 1.
There were 2 Polish truckers and they approach a bridge that says "clearance 14'1"
They stop and measure the trailer. The measurement is 14'9"
The one says to the other. "Well, we're about 8 inches high but .....
Does Phil know the rest of this?
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Post by Mahnarch on Aug 24, 2007 22:33:39 GMT -5
Hmm, I've never heard this one....
Get it, Phil!!
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Post by Phil on Aug 25, 2007 23:24:31 GMT -5
Not a chance. No cookie for you Dan.
The passenger says to the driver 'Wat da ya tink Stanley?'
'Well I don't see no cops I say we go for it.'
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Post by Mahnarch on Aug 26, 2007 0:00:35 GMT -5
Buah-ha-ha!! It took me, like, 10 seconds to figure that one out. You're the king, O'strot' key 'veech' (phonetically) [Edited: forgot the 'key', there......dang poles, anyways.  ] |
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Post by Phil on Aug 28, 2007 13:18:02 GMT -5
Yeah, that's pretty close.
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