Kimm
Moderator 
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 9, 2006 17:01:47 GMT -5
A favorite in our household
A guy goes to a bar with a dog.
Bartender-Sorry pal there are no dogs allowed here.
Man-Well I can prove that my dog is very special he can talk.
Bartender- All right if he can talk he can stay.
Man- What's on top of the building?
Dog- Roocf
Man- What's the texture of sandpaper?
Dog- rufff
Man- What's my name?
Dog -Rulllfff
Man- Who was the best baseball player ever?
Dog- Rufffff
Bartender- I dont think so guys. BOUNCER!!!!!
Bouncer tossed man and dog.
dog-Maybe I should have said Pete Rose
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Post by Blastgirl on Apr 10, 2006 0:58:16 GMT -5
What has eighteen legs and catches files?
A baseball team.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
What the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says "Throw your gum away but a train says 'Choo-choo-choo.'"
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Post by tractakid on Apr 10, 2006 14:34:29 GMT -5
whats the difference between a trampoline and a rival football team supporter?
you take youre shoes off to jump on a trampoline!
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Post by Kevin on Apr 10, 2006 15:15:52 GMT -5
Why did the University of Michigan decide to make their new stadium out of cardboard?
They play better on paper.
/Ohio State joke
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Post by Blastgirl on Apr 11, 2006 21:22:51 GMT -5
Why did the University of Michigan decide to make their new stadium out of cardboard? They play better on paper. /Ohio State joke Good one. What's the difference between a bad kid and a postage stamp? A bad kid gets a lick with a stick, but a stamp you stick with a lick. |
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Post by Blastgirl on Jul 8, 2006 22:53:29 GMT -5
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A teacher says "throw your gum away" and the train says "Choo-Choo-Choo."
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Post by -lewa- on Jul 17, 2006 12:36:27 GMT -5
A panda bear walks into a bar. The panda orders a sandwich. When he's done eating, the cashier brings him his check. Instead of politely paying, he shoots the cashier and leaves.
The manager stops him and says "Hey- whats going on? You shot my cashier, and you didn't even pay!". The panda replieas "Im a panda, duh. Look it up".
So the manager gets out his little pocket Webster, and looks up "Panda". The definition says:
Panda bear:
Lives generally in the forest, is a mammel etc. Eats shoots and leaves.
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Post by Blastgirl on Jul 17, 2006 23:49:56 GMT -5
In 1999 Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a Baseball game.
Secret service came up to Bill and whispered something in his ear.
Bill immediately turned around picked up Hillary and tossed her out onto the Baseball Field.
Everybody looked around in confusion, and the Secret Service agent said, "Mr President, I think you misheard me, the First PITCH!"
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Post by _glitch_ on Jul 18, 2006 8:27:08 GMT -5
!
LOL, that's funny Blastgirl.
_glitch_
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Post by Jason O'Lewa on Jul 18, 2006 17:20:06 GMT -5
i didnt get that at first but now I do.
a chineese man could have a name like
won hung lo
hoo flung dung
fon yun som
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aido179
Moderator
posts: 5867
Posts: 458
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Post by aido179 on Jul 22, 2006 8:19:01 GMT -5
what did he die of?
a thursday!
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