Post by johnb1 on Mar 21, 2016 14:42:18 GMT -5
(think Looney Toons cartoon on that title quote) I was invited to my mom's house for dinner Sunday which was nice, and it was leftovers which was fine, ah, but,
(there's always a 'but' right?) one of the leftovers was a dish of plain steamed broccoli and cauliflower, and corn which I enjoyed, and some sweet n' sour polynesian ribs
and other stuff. I knew what would happen (we all do) but I ate it anyways. It's kinda hard being the family gas-passer, sure my mom is catching up, but nobody does it better (at least I think so) . So, dinner was over, I had a coffee and a dish of canned pears and a butter tart or two. I could feel some gas brewing so I went outside for an after dinner cigar and to ward off any impending butt demons by a pre-emptive strike and pressure release. Swell !! So, it was time to go home, my mom offered me a ride
and I got into the car, and just as I was about to sit dow-whammo ! the guns started going off again. There was lots of "oh god" from her seat and "excuse me" from mine. they weren't loud, but they came thick and fast (and stinky), and just like that, thankfully, the shelling was over. My mom said to me "Surely, John, three pieces of broccoli and 4 pieces of cauliflower couldn't and wouldn't affect you, right? Surely that must be true. Just a bit of each.... (**now dear reader, read the title of this piece again, and think about what I wrote.....**)
well, the results speak for the themselves, so I don't have to. I think from now on it's safer (though not maybe as healthy) for me to avoid that stuff at all costs, no matter what anyone offers me. I remember I used to go to my aunt's place and she'd feed us all--salad, some kind of hot dish, and broccoli or cauliflower--every time, and afterwards, we'd go off to the theater to watch some kind of performance and for me to practise my sneak attacks. Hey if you load up a cannon with gunpowder and start haulting it from place to place loaded, don't be surprised if it goes off accidentally once in a while
well that's it, I'm finished
John B
