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Post by DragonLady on Sept 7, 2013 7:57:23 GMT -5
Last night I had Steak N' Shake and had been ripping stinky farts as it was because I had to go #2, but was bound up. The food just made it more frequent! I had a butter burger with garlic seasoning, same with the fries. Anyway, during the later half of the night the guy working next to me out of the blue asks, "Did you fart!" I start laughing because I can't put on my poker face when it comes to fart blame. He proceeds to tell me how bad it was and pretends to gag! I was proud.
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Post by DragonLady on Sept 7, 2013 8:46:24 GMT -5
I just had the garlic parmesan fries and they work fast! I ripped a loud one just seconds ago! This chair should fall apart at any time!
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Post by Beangirl on Sept 7, 2013 10:53:29 GMT -5
;DLOL! I have some damaged muscles from my car accident and the worst thing besides the pain is it hurts to fart!  |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Sept 7, 2013 22:38:46 GMT -5
I just had the garlic parmesan fries and they work fast! I ripped a loud one just seconds ago! This chair should fall apart at any time! Torturing others with SBDs is something worth living for. Any comments from anybody on the loud fart on the chair? Hard chairs are fun to fart on too. I farted on the floor this morning my mom was not super pleased but I was rather proud of myself. ;D Beangirl, Im sorry farting is painful. Its tragic to have simple pleasures ruined. |
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Post by Beangirl on Sept 8, 2013 11:03:46 GMT -5
I just had the garlic parmesan fries and they work fast! I ripped a loud one just seconds ago! This chair should fall apart at any time! Torturing others with SBDs is something worth living for. Any comments from anybody on the loud fart on the chair? Hard chairs are fun to fart on too. I farted on the floor this morning my mom was not super pleased but I was rather proud of myself. ;D Beangirl, Im sorry farting is painful. Its tragic to have simple pleasures ruined. Pooping is even worse! I have to be on pain killers to do it!  |
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Post by johnb1 on Sept 9, 2013 15:02:08 GMT -5
Hey Beangirl, sorry to hear about your car accident. That's no fun
sad as it is to say, you're gonna have to wait to fart until you're all better
and as for pooping, trust me on this: don't take the painkillers.
The serious ones bind you right up. maybe have something gentle, maybe some docusate or something that helps in that department
be good to yourself and be patient, rest and heal.
you'll know that you're better because you will be able to poop and fart
that's what I was told anyways. If you can do that, you're well on the road to recovery. the hospital wouldn't let me go home unless I did
and let me tell you, after a few weeks in the hospital on nothing but dextrose ( I think) that poop was miraculous. at least I though so
so, you will get your super powers back, but it will take time
all the best to you
John b
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 9, 2013 19:49:00 GMT -5
The old ambush is the sweet smell of victory. ;D
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Post by Beangirl on Sept 10, 2013 6:56:06 GMT -5
Thanks johnb1. I stopped the painkillers yesterday. I use a pillow when I poop and that helps. ;D now it is just waiting for my ribs to heal.
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Post by DragonLady on Sept 10, 2013 11:25:26 GMT -5
Like JB said, stool softeners should do it, even eating prunes, but those are gas producers. How long do you think it might be? What did the doctor say?
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Post by Beangirl on Sept 11, 2013 11:45:58 GMT -5
I go back to my doctor on Friday. I get better each day. I try to rest and take it easy. I eat a lot of veggies so I can poop. I still use a pillow but I am able to fart now. Thanks everyone.  |
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Sept 25, 2013 17:48:27 GMT -5
Ambush, I blew a loud one just now
BBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT
I started giggling and so did my dad, my mom goes "sick KMMM" and walks away a few moments after she came back in and smells it, my mom goes "Kimmmm your a$s is still vaporizing this room."
My brother walks in and says uhoh everbodys in an uproar, my mom points to me and goes "she farted," my dad points at me and said "she farted" And I said "I farted."
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Oct 7, 2013 15:48:21 GMT -5
I had walking farts a few minutes ago the kind that goes off every other step after about the 5th one my mom goes "youre just a walking gas factory." ;D
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Oct 23, 2013 21:02:32 GMT -5
Lol, I did about 7 farts in a row at least 7
It was like
BBBBPPLLLAATTTT
BBPPLAATT........BBBPPLAATTT........PPLLLLAATTT
BBPPLLATTT..........BBPPLLATTT
BBBBPPLLAATTT
My mom goes "Damnit Kimmmm stick a cork in that ass of yours. lol I thought it was funny. ;D
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Nov 1, 2013 15:45:09 GMT -5
I sh!t my brains out a little bit ago. then I showered because I wanted to make sure I was clean lol.
I got down stairs and I explained how badly I had needed to poop my dad goes "your brave to stay in there and shower after you did your job."
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Post by Beangirl on Nov 2, 2013 10:06:17 GMT -5
I have been eating pork and beans along with broccoli and carrots for dinner. Now I am an exploding a@# cannon!  |
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Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Nov 3, 2013 18:17:51 GMT -5
I have been eating pork and beans along with broccoli and carrots for dinner. Now I am an exploding a@# cannon! Beans are still the queen meal of farts. Chicken wings are right up there though. ;D |
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Post by paomik on Nov 6, 2013 9:36:09 GMT -5
My girlfriend these days , eats a lot of brocolli , so we have many stinky explosions in her house!
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Post by Blastgirl on Nov 7, 2013 22:06:45 GMT -5
Its super fun when others walk into it.
Tonight my Mom, my Dad, and some other friends are over to watch Football. I felt one brewing for a while but it was ripe so I said "Tight tummy," Then I farted
BBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT
My Dad said "I hope you didn't push too hard you might have fudged your skivvies."
My Mom just says "You and your Sister and your gassy butts are going to fly away one of these days."
My Mom goes to Classic, "How do you tolerate all her farting?" Classic said "I don't care it doesn't bother me."
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