Kimm
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Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 15, 2011 17:53:27 GMT -5
Today Im blowing farts that could curl your hair today. Its a meatless Friday so I had 2 egg salad sandwiches for lunch and my butt has been squeaking and squawking and of course eggs kind of smell like farts before then come through. And they dont smell any better after they come out of my butt either.
I walked past my mom and go "Guess what I have to fart."
My moms like "Come on hold it or go away for it." I blew it out anyway. Bleatttttttt Mild squeak.
My mom goes "at least that wasnt a big cannon blast like your so proud of." I go "Oh wait, theres eggs in this."
In a few seconds she goes "Kimberly Youngsone you have a sewer for an ass!!!!!!!!!!"
Then a few minutes ago my mom was on the phone I pointed to my brother so he knows that his job is to pull my finger if I point so he does and it was another low pitched squeak.
But in a moment I fanned it around my brother goes "Damn Kim!" And covers his face. My mom puts the phone down and goes "Did you sh!t your pants again?" I go "Yep!"
My mom goes into the phone. "My daughter Kim keeps crapting her pants, your lucky you cant smell the fart she just blew. Exxon should put a hose up that girls ass and save the gas she could supply enough gas for hundreds of cars."
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Post by angel607 on Apr 16, 2011 0:27:49 GMT -5
omg I love the exxon gas joke lol. you have the best farting stories I ever herd.
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 16, 2011 21:55:53 GMT -5
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Post by johnb1 on Apr 17, 2011 14:58:01 GMT -5
yep-good ol'egg salad-it gives me the sneaky ninja farts. Not much noise, but a surprising stink. Kinda hits you without warning. A.k.a " opening the lunchbox " . I got my mom with a nearly quiet egg bomb
just last week. I didn't mean to-it just kinda happened....
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 17, 2011 21:12:49 GMT -5
Eggs kind of smell like farts before being eaten and there not any better coming out. lol ;D
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Post by Demona on Apr 17, 2011 23:19:01 GMT -5
yep-good ol'egg salad-it gives me the sneaky ninja farts. Not much noise, but a surprising stink. Kinda hits you without warning. A.k.a " opening the lunchbox " . I got my mom with a nearly quiet egg bomb just last week. I didn't mean to-it just kinda happened.... Was she grossed out? |
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Post by Beangirl on Apr 19, 2011 22:48:00 GMT -5
LOL! I wanna marry Chelsea. ;D
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 21, 2011 16:38:02 GMT -5
Ok.
Today a friend of mine, Renee and I had Checkers burgers. No meat tomorrow so we had to do Checkers today. The both of us farted up a storm for the next part of the day. So about an hour ago Were in the garage here hanging out and a few of my brothers frineds and such are there. Well I announced to Renee that I had a fart brewing and she said "I do too." So When hers was ready she let it go BBBBBBBPPPPPPPLLLLLLLAAAAAAATTTTTTT THen I did it right after.
BBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
My brothers friend goes "Damn who farted?" We both raised our hands. Renee goes "I blew it first, Kim blew it second." I go "Yeah but she who farts last farts best."
We got a lefthanded compliment from a guy my brother knows Mark goes "How can two hot girls fart so loud be so proud of it?"
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Kimm
Moderator
Posts: 2,993
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Post by Kimm on Apr 24, 2011 19:50:50 GMT -5
We all got together for a late lunch/early dinner. A group of about 14 My parents, my brother, and my other sister and Blastgirl, Classic the kids and Classics parents
We got home a while ago and I said I just cant wait to get out of this dress and into sweat pants and a t shirt. My dad goes "You will be more comfortable farting in sweatpants," I said "Thats true too theres lots of advantages."
I blasted a long loud off a few minutes ago everybody but my mom thought it was funny. Lol
;D
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Post by Classicblast on Apr 28, 2011 0:33:35 GMT -5
Tonight I was kind of a sitting duck to double barreled shotguns of the Blastsisters as the boards know them. I worked this evening and I guess they ordered chicken wings and basically had a contest until about an fifteen minutes ago when Kim went home and my bride still has a lot of fuel.
They kept letting go and counting their farts and asking me to tell them who's was louder. I would not judge whos stunk worse they can argue that out. I'm proud to say my bride was louder most of the time.
Note I was told to type that last sentence.
Aren't I lucky?
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Post by Blastgirl on Apr 28, 2011 2:39:19 GMT -5
You're so lucky!
Chicken wings. Yummy. I was louder than Kim for a change. I have to offer concession on the stink factor though. ;D
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Post by Demona on Apr 28, 2011 17:33:40 GMT -5
Alright! A farting contest! I bet it stunk so bad, Classic couldn't see to drive through the green cloud and had to stick his head out the window! How would you judge stink in a farting match, wouldn't it just mix together?
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Post by Classicblast on Apr 28, 2011 23:44:43 GMT -5
Alright! A farting contest! I bet it stunk so bad, Classic couldn't see to drive through the green cloud and had to stick his head out the window! How would you judge stink in a farting match, wouldn't it just mix together? It was brutal. Hahaha. I have to say though. If anybody had never seen Blastgirl and Kim, and imagine those two in such a contest most would never believe it others would pay huge dollars to witness it. That's not saying everybody has their head screwed on correctly obviously. |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Apr 29, 2011 18:04:40 GMT -5
You're so lucky! Chicken wings. Yummy. I was louder than Kim for a change. I have to offer concession on the stink factor though. ;D I think I was louder too but whatever sis. What ever. |
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