Stinking up the joint!

[Demona]

At work I don't know what the deal was, but as soon as I got there, I was letting rip. Unfortuneatly, that was the case for the rest of the night.

First I was across from a table with another lady, and I had managed to sneak out a good silent but deadly that was exceptionally deadly. I mean, I have a bad cold and can't breathe through my nose, and it still grossed me out. She immediately asks if I farted, and seeing as my hysterical laughter is giving it away, I might as well be honest. Then she cuts one, and waves the air with a paper. I rip one next, and warn her to take a step back. She goes across the room, comes back and says, "It's still here!" I ask the crew leader a question, and he walks up and puts his shirt over his nose, telling me I'm gross.

I make two false alarm trips to the bathroom, with her encouraging me to go there! I'm even asked by another woman who I worked next to after trying and failing to sneak out another one, "Did you sh*t your pants?"

After eight hours, I came home and only then did I finally go! The gas attack must have been due to constipation. I know I didn't eat anything unusual, but I swear if a match had been lit the building might have burst into flames!

[Phil]

Nothing like the gotcha cornered fart.

I will never forget I was changing a light fixture in the office of the regional manager. The manager was a guy about 65 and I was re splicing the wires and this guy walks around the ladder and bombs off a major attack and chuckles about it. Meanwhile I can't just put this fixture down but the other worker who was not working with live wire steps out of the office and says 'try not to electrocute yourself Ostrotkiewicz.'

[angel607]

omg I love that farting story. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard lol.

[Beangirl]

LOL Me too! You guys are great. ;D

[Demona]

I brought in some incense cones last night and asked different people to smell them. I use them for car air freshener. One woman, the one I was across from while cutting the cheese previously, said I should stick a cone up my butt!

[Kimm]

This is my favorite kind of story. Having a trapped audience and knowing you got them. ;D

Ive had my dad threaten to stick a cork up my butt. I have also had my mom say I should drink Listerine not just use it as mouthwash. My mom goes "you might not fart any less but at least it will be minty not mediciney"

[dinin]

makes ur farts small fresh ;-)

[Beangirl]

If they made a "butt gargle" I wouldn't buy it! Defeats the purpose.

[Kimm]

Haha My mom just walked through my blow a few minutes ago. I let off a horn sounding fart. My brother giggles and said nothing and my mom walks through and wrinkles her face and looks at my brother and goes "She farted!" I go "Yep!"

[fartinggurl]

This happened about 5 years ago. I was over at my grandparent's house, and at point during my visit, my grandma was talking to my mom on the phone in the kitchen. The phone in my grandparent's kitchen is a cord phone, so pretty much if you're on the phone in there, you can not go very far. Anyway while my grandma was on the cord phone talking to my mom, I was about 3 feet away from where she was standing, and I fired off this huge fart that smelled pretty bad. My grandma was holding her nose, then about a few moments later she said to my mom, "I have to go. Your daughter just farted over here and I can't breathe." When she got off the phone, she left the kitchen, holding her nose. ;D

[Kimm]

I have a similar story. My grandparents were going out onto the deck and I was walking by fast and I farted an on the walk fart BBBBBBBPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLAAAAAATTTTTTT

My grandma goes thought my grandpa did it and goes "charlie the beans exploded behind you?" "Not me" said my grandpa. I go "That was me I farted." We all laughed pretty hard from that.