This just in.

[Classicblast]

I can't imagine what you're up to right now. Obviously we're all going to face it sooner or later. But now you have to come up with a suitable grave labeling for the life of a man who was almost 80 and obviously a very accomplished man.

[Phil]

That's just it.

But the graveside probably doesn't need a huge memorial. I just don't know about these things.

[angel607]

phil I agree with beangirl. maybe you can think about some words are sayings that was important to your father. or sit at your desk on the computer and maybe something will come to you. that's what I do with poetry. I sit at my computer and let the words flow onto the screen on what I am feeling. it's hard because you can't prepare for death. you can look back on the memories and laugh about the great times that you shared or look at pictures and talk about how that was such a great time. the memories will always be with you and your family and I think when you prey they can hear you. I know your father will be watching you all and he will be proud of all that you do in life.

[Blastgirl]

From what you have shown us Phil, your Dad left you quite a legacy.

[Beangirl]

My Mother's is "Beloved Wife and Mother" below her name . Below that is the date of her birth and the date of her death."Beloved Husband,Father,Grandfather and Friend" Is simple yet clear.What ever you choose will surely be welcomed.

[Phil]

I think something like that is perfect.

[Jason O'Lewa]

we ordered the stone they said it could take up to 3 months
my dad is pist because thats too long.

[Alan]

I don't understand the time frame either. I had my driveway repaved in 3 days and they could have done it in one day if I booked it sooner that was a driveway that was never paved, grated and coarse paved and then fine paved and then sealed.

And it can take as much as 3 and a half months to install a stone on my father's grave that is already built. But its at their mercy so it is what it is.

[Kimm]

When its a permanent monument spare no expense. I think most cemeteries have laws on how large a stone is allowed to be. Theyve gotten away from letting there be hugely different sizes next to each other.

[Beangirl]

We have an older section in our cemetery (Rose Hills Memorial Park) It is called "Slumber Land" It has been full for decades. It has babies and children from the forties and fifties all under two years of age. Every holiday those graves are decorated with Christmas trees and Easter baskets. I walked through there a few times and the head stones were so emotional I had to leave. Parents who lose small children pour there grief into those memorials. :'(I do know as a rule, head stones do take a lot of time to make and set.

[Classicblast]

No doubt the saddest thing is to see a child's grave stone. If it weren't for that there would be no memory of them at all. But a child's grave really makes you stop and wonder about the life that could have been and never really had a chance.

I see Phil's anxiety that he would like to see a stone monument on his father's grave right away. I definitely understand. But having it done properly and knowing its permanent will just have to out weigh the desire to do it fast.

The problem with that kind of construction is its under licensing and only so many people are properly licensed and the cemetery might only allow certain times for set up. Some cemeteries only allow base pouring once or twice a year.

My dad was angry about how long it took to set up a monument for his parents. They gave him the talk about how it goes and he said "I own a construction company I'll pour the damn thing" But its licensing and such again. Although my dad and my brothers and their staff would have been very capable of putting that together.

[Jason O'Lewa]

the grave stone is finally ready for my grandpas grave site.
they pored the concrete for the foundation a week or 2 ago and now they are inscribing the stone maybe in a month they will have it instaled

[Phil]

They finally finished my father's gravestone. If my mother approves it it will be installed within the next 2 weeks.

[Alan]

Update if they're still discussing this. My dads grave had the stone finally. He died 7 months ago.

My mother wanted the estate to buy the stone but Phil would not have it any other way he bought the stone and refused to let any of us put up money but he did allow us all to look at the options to pick the one out that was most to our liking within the dimensions of what the cemetery will allow.

I am thankful that Phil's children and my sister's children knew my dad. I'm a bit regretful that I have no kids because I know that I will and they will not know their grandfather. It is what it is though.

[Phil]

Its up and it looks nice. Red concrete he always was partial to colored concrete.

[Blastgirl]

Its nice that you have completed the Memorial process for your Dad. Of course that's not closure there's no such thing as that in a case like this.

I do remember a lot of stories you told of your Dad and he seemed like a very charming sociable man. I understand what you mean in your videos when you say how the Family feels a big void.

[Beangirl]

Nope. The grief never ends. Here is my Mom and Me 35 years ago. My High School Graduation and 2 months before she died.

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[Phil]

I see the resemblance. I was nearing 40, I can't imagine being 18 to deal with this.

My dad was our family's and our extended family's 'go to guy' for problem solving answers. He was the mentor to his brothers and sisters, to us to our cousins and even to our kids.

His older brother was no good he died 8 years ago but the rest of the family depended on my dad for solving issues his parents did too. My aunt and my mother and my brother are all telling me I'm going to get that job now.

Although he knew when to be rational he could also be so juvenile and fun. But that's what made the kids endeared to him.