Don't Fart!

[Demona]

At work last night we were getting low on papers, so one woman had to go grab some under the machine and sort them out. I was standing, while she was on the floor. She said, "Don't fart or I'll punch you in the butt!" I told her, "I'll try to work one up!" I didn't have one brewing though, but that would have been funny.

[Kimm]

Dont you hate that when you really need a good fart to prove a point the tanks empty?

Sometimes if you fart a lot like I do people think you can do it at will. I got mad at my brother yesterday my mom goes "Im surprised you didnt fart on him."

I go "mom that has to brew I cant just point my butt at him and blow the fart."
My mom goes "Im surprised I figured youre always armed and ready."

I know she was being sarcastic but theres people that think that.

[Beangirl]

So true. I had jury duty one time and during our first break the entire jury room piled into the elevator to go down to the lobby and get snacks Along with two sheriff's deputies we were packed tighter than a can of sardines. Someone yelled. " Nobody move!" (or we would crash). My brain thought nobody fart! Alas!! No Gas.

[Blastgirl]

That's motivation to try to brew one.

Sometimes people say "don't fart," like you were just sizing up that chance.

How about if you blow a long loud one and there's only one or two others in the room it was unquestionably you and they still look appalled and say "was that YOU?"

[Kimm]

I hear that a lot. "was that you?" Ive overheard people go "That was that chick." Its great that people get shock in their voice and expressions that it was me.

I got my brother good a few times about twice at different times he was in a chair and I walked up to him put my foot on the leg of his chair with my butt near his shoulder and farted.

I got him the time I told about him dragging me to get the remote control away from me he was pulling me by the ankle and I farted a few times.

I got my mom great not too long ago it was after egg salad. Need I say more?

We were just about to go somewhere just after she got in my car I blew the SBD and then it hit her. My mom goes "Kiimmmmmmm You reekkkkkk! What did you eat??

I go "Egg salad." My mom goes "Great that smells like farts before you eat it. Then you fart it out!"

That was funny too.

Sometimes my mom goes "dont fart" when I walk by her.

[fartinggurl]

If I'm in the car with my parents and we go out to eat, especially when it's the middle of winter and it's too cold to open the windows, my dad will say to me, "Don't fart in here, or I'm going to make you walk home." But there were times in the middle of winter when I let off a fart in the car that smelled so bad, my dad opened the windows, saying he'd rather freeze to death than suffer from the smell of my farts.