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Post by Pumpkin on Jun 27, 2010 16:33:32 GMT -5
I went to a buffet style restaurant with the Mrs. today. I felt a HUGE fart brewing all through the meal. For her sake, I kept the gas to myself until we got back to the car. Then I unleashed the monster.
VRRAAAP--VRRAAAP--VRRAAAP--VRRAAAP went the report from below. Even I was startled by the fury and symmetry of the event. Mrs. Pumpkin looked at me and said, "all righty then! It sounds like we're ready to hit the road then." She hit the power button on the windows and let the 96 degree air wash away the rotting garbage stink.
She escaped the stink of that one, but I ambushed her in the kitchen when we got home. She walked right into that one. She said through her shirt collar in a muffled voice, "did you fart?" "YUP" ;DI said. "OH, THAT'S BAD! YOUR FOUL. YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT WHEN WE WERE STILL OUTSIDE?" I was proud. ;D
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Post by Beangirl on Jun 27, 2010 18:09:44 GMT -5
LOL! Excellent Pumpkin. ;D Those "all you can eat" buffet's should also be "all you can fart" He he!  |
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Post by Blastgirl on Jun 27, 2010 23:43:26 GMT -5
LOL! Excellent Pumpkin. ;D Those "all you can eat" buffet's should also be "all you can fart" He he! They'd outlaw my Family. ;D |
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Post by Beangirl on Jun 28, 2010 21:15:57 GMT -5
LOL! Excellent Pumpkin. ;D Those "all you can eat" buffet's should also be "all you can fart" He he! They'd outlaw my Family. ;D Yeah.. I heard Waffle House has a No trespass warrant issued to the entire Blast family. |
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Post by Blastgirl on Jun 28, 2010 21:59:45 GMT -5
I don't know about the entire, just Kim and me. ;D On second thought you might be right my Grandfather, my Aunt Barb and my cousin Jennifer and her sixteen year old Son Paul.
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jun 30, 2010 21:18:04 GMT -5
Its funny Id come across this thread today. My mom and I had lunch at Waffle House today. I had a cup of you know what the chili. I go to my mom "This is sure going to give me gas."
My mom goes "I know hopefully you wont fart too much in my general direction."
Theyve been loud too I just got yelled at a few minutes ago. I was here at the computer and I go "Bombs away" I lifted a cheek and BBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAATTTT
My mom goes "Nice and ladylike as usual. And now you stink!" My brother comes in and my mom goes "Kimmy sht her pants over there so Id be careful."
We all got a chuckle from it though. ;D
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Post by fartinggurl on Jul 7, 2010 15:15:21 GMT -5
A couple days ago I had some onion rings from Burger King and some ice cream, which always means foul farts for the next couple days. I was sitting on the couch in the living room when I felt a fart. I lifted up and ripped a BBBBBBLLLLLAAAAAATTTTTTTT! The overhead fan happened to be on, and the stench quickly went around the living room. My dad went, "WTF (Me)!" while I just laughed.
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jul 17, 2010 10:32:49 GMT -5
I just ripped a long loud. My mom was in the next room and goes "I heard that." I go "thats good theres a lot more coming too."
My mom goes "youre so ladylike! You didnt get that from me thats for sure."
I guess I never grew up that way.
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Post by Pumpkin on Jul 22, 2010 14:08:27 GMT -5
Hey,
I don't know if this will work for the rest of ya'all, but try one of those fiber bars, the ones with "35% of your daily fiber intake". OMG-OMG-OMG! I have never farted so long and loud in my life! Stinks too. ;D
My belly was ballooned out kind of like a basketball. Mrs. Pumpkin saw that and said "oh-oh". I said "yep. It's gonna be a stormy night!"
I have since been banned from eating fiber bars. She ripped the box out of my hands at the grocery store last night and said a emphatic and decisive "NO!"
Awe shucks, I was devastated. I guess I will just have to wait until one of those family reunions. I can load up about 4 hours before the gathering, then open fire!
I did that last year, and my sister in law looked at me and said "THAT WAS HUUUOOOOOGE!" It was a six second BURRRAAAAAFFFFFFFF, kind of like a chainsaw that echoed off the back of my brother's house. I was so proud of myself! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Beangirl on Jul 22, 2010 21:07:08 GMT -5
LOL! At my family reunion back in 2005 we were in Benton ville Arkansas . We had our dinner at A.Q.'s Chicken and I had the barbecue chicken, batter dipped fries, biscuits and honey and lots of iced tea. We were all dancing and doing the hokey poky and laughing.etc. In the car on the way to our hotel I was riding on a mounting zeppelin of gas. I held on until my dad and I got into the elevator the I let it rrrrrripppppppp... My dad started laughing and said "Oh my God why did you do that? I just cracked up laughing! As we got out some poor saps got in and the doors closed. I must of laughed all night long. ;D
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Post by Classicblast on Jul 23, 2010 0:23:43 GMT -5
I don't know how the family must have divided but you must be related to Blastgirl and Kimm.
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jul 25, 2010 20:40:02 GMT -5
I don't know how the family must have divided but you must be related to Blastgirl and Kimm. Youre just mad because I cleared you away this afternoon. At our house I announced I had a big 1 coming so I paused and Ill admit it was bigger than I expected It was a BBBBBBPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT My mom goes "Kimmm get your stinky a s s away from here. My dad goew "Holy sh t KIMMMMMM!" It was a reeker and we all headed outside but it was time to go out and get the burgers and dogs off the grill anyway. Oh yeah I had lots of sauerkraut too. ;D Thats a good 300 gun salute. We talked about when it would be safe to go back in the living room. My dad goes "Mrs. Buttfire over here fumigated the area." I giggled and said "I sure did." My friend Renee gave me a fist pump. Im so classy. I mean gassy. |
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Post by Beangirl on Jul 25, 2010 21:21:25 GMT -5
I don't know how the family must have divided but you must be related to Blastgirl and Kimm. ;D Could be? Nothing better than trapping poor saps in my fart fumes. Besides the elevator, I also let one rip on the airplane going home. Traveling makes me constipated. Just before we left I took some ex lax in the hotel room. We were on our plane from Dallas to LAX when I did a one cheek sneak. I was by the window sitting next to my dad. I started laughing and he said "What's so funny? I said I farted and he started laughing "Was that foul one yours? ". We laughed and laughed.Then lemon air freshener came out of the air vent. ;D |
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Post by Pumpkin on Jul 27, 2010 13:54:52 GMT -5
Heeheheheheheeeee... Way way back when I was a boy...I went to the local shopping mall with some of my cruddy buddies. After a day of gorging on junk food my guts were churning. It was gonna be ugly. I ducked into the boys room to take a leak. One of my posse came in and walked up to the urinal next to me. I let out a massive and hot PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF. Ah, I felt much better. My poor friend had just started his business. He was pretty much trapped in the fart cloud. He turned a few shades of light purple and said, "oh, I think I'm gonna puke. Damn, that's BAD! Oh Gawd." The poor guy really did look and act sick afterwards. Yeah, I can be a bit of a farting sadist at times. ;D  |
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Post by Beangirl on Jul 27, 2010 21:16:59 GMT -5
LOL! Marques De Sade Le Phew!  |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Jul 31, 2010 15:47:37 GMT -5
I did one about an hour ago. It was an sbd and my dad goes "Who farted KIM?" I giggled thats happened lots of times before though.
About 15 minutes ago I just lifted a cheek and BBBBBPPPPPPPLLLLLLAAAAAAATTTTTTT
My mom goes "lovely!"
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Post by Pumpkin on Aug 19, 2010 16:04:37 GMT -5
LOL You could have your own brand, KimGas. A high octane mixture. I did a large fart on the couch last night while Mrs. Pumpkin and I were watching a movie. It was a huge VOOOOOOOOOOOPPPP that went deep into the couch cushion. Mrs. Pumpkin said, "I felt that one. The whole couch moved". Not much in the stink department. The stink came later when I sat down on the couch again and got a repeat performance puff from the cushion. |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Aug 20, 2010 18:16:37 GMT -5
Wood benches or plastic chairs for vibration. ;D
Tiled floors too. I farted on the floor a few days ago my dad goes "I felt the floor vibrate." It was funny.
I blew a fart last night on the way home in my boyfriends car it was a mild BPLAT. but it reeked. He yelled at me and I just sat there and giggled.
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