An 'Exclusive with Prison Mike';

[Mahnarch]

*ting - ting - ting*

I run my billy club along the cell bars as I walk down the urine covered hall on my way to the holding cell.

A guard stops me. I flash my ID. He lets me into the room.

Inside is a single table, metal. Two stainless steel chairs; one holding an orange suited inmate with his head down - the other...has a dubious red/brown stain on it.

I opt to stand, facing the wall length, two-way mirror.

"Where's the body, Mike?"

"What?", the inmate asks.

I turn, grabbing him by the hair and forcing his head back.

"WHERE IS THE BODY?!", slamming his face into the table.

"I don't know what you're talking about, man!!", the inmate says.

"Bull!!", I give him a kick.

A guard slowly, quietly lets himself into the room and walks over to me. He whispers, "Hey, this isn't Prison Mike! You got here 5 minutes too early!"

"Ohh".....


I sit on the edge of the table as this inmate is led out of the room and Prison Mike is led in.

He sits at the table as I lean in:


1. Where is the body, Mike?
2. What did you eat between 7-8PM last night?
3. If you could shiv anyone in the world, what would you wear?
4. When is the last time you talked to a man with a badge?
5. How many trees are in your front yard? (your cell block?)
6. If your neighbor had a 48 inch rider (mower), how many inches would yours be?
7. What's the fastest you've ever driven on the Interstate?
8. If you were cracking a safe, how would you do it? (did you do this on the 8th?)
9. Have you ever rode a snowmobile across a state line?
10. What is that smell?
11. How many Universal remotes do you/family own?
12. Is Lewa taller than you?
13. How many inches of Mercury is it at your house, right now?
14. What color is your computer mouse?
15. What's the last thing you knived?
16. Take your weight, multiply by 0.33.
17. Have you ever burnt a meal? (what was it?)
18. How many DVDs do you own where the cases are.....red?
19. How many skips can you get out of a flat stone across a pond?
20. Have you ever played on an Atari 2600 deck?

Bonus: 21. Who would win an arm wrestling contest? Phil or Kimm?

[Prison Mike]

1. Where is the body, Mike?
Don't worry, you'll see where it is, because I will bury you there too soon enough.

2. What did you eat between 7-8PM last night?
Cheddar Cheese Combos

3. If you could shiv anyone in the world, what would you wear?
Well if I'm going to shiv someone I would want to wear a tux and be classy because they would never see it coming.

4. When is the last time you talked to a man with a badge?
Two weeks ago.

5. How many trees are in your front yard? (your cell block?)
20+

6. If your neighbor had a 48 inch rider (mower), how many inches would yours be?
I wouldn't need one because I would make him do my lawn too.

7. What's the fastest you've ever driven on the Interstate?
80 MPH

8. If you were cracking a safe, how would you do it? (did you do this on the 8th?)
First I would put some epic background music on. I would probably shoot some people for dramatic effect. Next I would call the cops to make it more challenging and crack the safe before they make it to where I am.

9. Have you ever rode a snowmobile across a state line?
Never.

10. What is that smell?
Spring.

11. How many Universal remotes do you/family own?
Probably 3.

12. Is Lewa taller than you?
Much. If he was Chewbacca I would be Yoda.

13. How many inches of Mercury is it at your house, right now?
Wow, I can't believe some people still use Mercury to measure pressure. It's 29.87".

I'll finish the rest soon.
14. What color is your computer mouse?
15. What's the last thing you knived?
16. Take your weight, multiply by 0.33.
17. Have you ever burnt a meal? (what was it?)
18. How many DVDs do you own where the cases are.....red?
19. How many skips can you get out of a flat stone across a pond?
20. Have you ever played on an Atari 2600 deck?

Bonus: 21. Who would win an arm wrestling contest? Phil or Kimm?

[Classicblast]

#13 Mahnarch is pretty versed in how he measures things. I think your answers are good so far. I can't wait for the rest. Those are very interesting questions I can't wait to see how they're answered by such a berry bad man as Prison Mike.

[Demona]

That top part was creative, lol.

[Prison Mike]

And done.

[-lewa-]

YAY YOU FINISHED.

"Well when I throw a body into a pond it doesn't really skip, but a rock I can skip 3-5 times."
Niice.
"Kimm. Phil's a wimp."
Good way to answer.

[Classicblast]

Mar 23, 2010 22:25:01 GMT -5 -lewa- said:

"Kimm. Phil's a wimp."
Good way to answer.

Whoa!!! Those are fighting words towards our Sergeant Enforcer.

Good q's and a's though.

[Phil]

Atten HUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is just to inform you that once you go after the bull you're going to get the horns. J/K I like your humor and your answers. And I'm very glad to see you here at lewasite.

[Mahnarch]

1. Where is the body, Mike?
Don't worry, you'll see where it is, because I will bury you there too soon enough.

I'll make sure to dress for the ocassion!
Does next.....Wednesday work for you?


3. If you could shiv anyone in the world, what would you wear?
Well if I'm going to shiv someone I would want to wear a tux and be classy because they would never see it coming.

Hey! Wait! You're.....you're wearing a tux RIGHT NOW!


6. If your neighbor had a 48 inch rider (mower), how many inches would yours be?
I wouldn't need one because I would make him do my lawn too.

Ahh! I see you use the "Friendly Neighbor" poli....hey! Make?!


13. How many inches of Mercury is it at your house, right now?[/b]
Wow, I can't believe some people still use Mercury to measure pressure. It's 29.87".

You use DUATS, or FBOWEB for your preflight planning?


15. What's the last thing you knived?
Hahaha keep these questions up and it can be you.

*Mahnarch lifts his shirt and shows Mike an old scar*

Mahnarch: "Nam, '94"
Prison Mike: "Nam wasn't in '94!"
Mahnarch: "Yeah. I was on vacation. Fell on a sharp rock..."


16. Take your weight, multiply by 0.33.
49.5

That means you'd weigh 29 lbs (Just over 2 Stone) on the Moon.


18. How many DVDs do you own where the cases are.....red?
Red from the blood of the bodies or out of the factory red?

Regular-type red....


20. Have you ever played on an Atari 2600 deck?
Never.

You're missing out, man! You should come over after I get a new power cable for mine.
We can jam on some Defender or Pitfall, or something!


Bonus: 21. Who would win an arm wrestling contest? Phil or Kimm?
Kimm. Phil's a wimp.[/quote]

I would have to admit this is a loaded question.
If you'd said "Phil", you'd never hear the end of it from Kimm!

And, believe me, you don't want to have a tall, slender, blonde gal all..over....you.... Hmm..

"I say PHIL!!! PHIL!!" Heh.