Post by Mahnarch on Aug 17, 2007 4:51:28 GMT -5
For those who know me from *gasp!* Farts.com, I'm a truck driver for the majority of the day.
I'm also a published writer, private pilot and have my Master in Automotive (biggest mistake/waste of my life).
When I started driving the larger vehicles I started to notice something: I'm on the road with complete idiots!
I'm sure you've met several idiots, yourself, when in your tiny 'four wheeler' cars but, when you advance to the larger, more cumbersome vehicles you tend to notice this trend - ten-fold.
Here's a sample of my experiences:
1) M-6 is a 20 mile stretch that shortcuts Grand Rapids, Mi.
At each end the highway the road merges from 2 lanes down to 1 before joining with I-96 (at the east) and I-196 (at the west).
At both ends there are signs for 2 miles that say 'Lane Ends. Merge Right'.
I was in the right lane while this guy in a BMW was on my left side, about mid-span of my trailer, talking on his cell phone.
'Lane Ends. Merge Right.'
He paces my trailer at my center clearance marker.
The lane gets narrower.
Me: "You better speed up, or slow down, bud."
Next sign: *picture of lane narrowing*
He starts nearing the yellow line on the shoulder.
Next sign: 'Lane Ends. Merge Right'.
He's still on his cell, one tire over the yellow line and on the rumble strip, still at my clearance light.
Finally, he's on the shoulder of the highway, doing 65mph, and throws his cell phone on the dash and SPEEDS UP, to pass me! (at this point, it would have been 'less truck' to slow down)
He then proceeds to give ME the finger!!
Dumb, dumb, dumb..
A couple of blasts from my airhorn told him!!
[Moral: Talking on your cell phone triples your chances of being in an accident. Talking on your cell phone around large vehicles quadruples that triple.]
2) I pulled into a parking lot of a factory and turned on my four-ways/hazards (a common practice for semi drivers when in potential pedestrian areas).
I manuevered my truck to back into the dock and got out to open my doors.
While I'm out there I look around for traffic that could interfere (foot, car..etc) All clear.
I get back into my truck and start backing into the dock when - A CAR WHIPS AROUND FROM BEHIND ME!!!! BETWEEN ME AND THE BUILDING!!! 35FT OF DISTANCE!!! WITH KIDS IN THE CAR!!! HONKING HER HORN AT ME!!!
Honking at me for what?! Backing into a dock, clearly marked for doing so, while my four-ways are on, during normal business hours for Shipping and Receiving?
*TOOOOT TOOOOOT* (sounds more manly in real life)
[Moral: Don't drive between a truck and a building. Have patience.]
3) I'm approaching an intersection that I want to turn left onto.
A small car gets to that intersection from my left, but has to stop for the sign, and huddles right over the white line.
I stop short of the intersection (15ft before I even get to the cross road) and wait.
The car sits, blinker turned on for her left.
I sit.
She sits.
I sit.
She waves for me to go.
I wave for her to go - I need her 'spot' to clear the intersection.
She waves for me to go.
O.KAAAY!
I creep forward and pull and exaggerated 'button-hook' (where we pull past the turn and then turn back into it, or take your lane and turn back into ours, resembling a 'button hook' used by seamstress'), but my trailer is still going to run over her hood, and possibly take off her driver's mirror.
I creep closer (1/2 mph, at best), and closer to her car.
She sits.
Closer.
Sits.
Closer.
She tries turning right, to get out of my way and this only leads to her getting further under my trailer.
FINALLY!!!! A stroke of genius hits her to 'Back Up!'.
She backs up.
I clear the intersection and all is well.
[Moral: If a semi stops short of an intersection and you're over the 'white line'... GO! - Don't try to be nice to him and wave him on. He's being nice to you, and you're in his way.]
4) I was driving down a long, straight road, doing 50mph in a 55mph zone.
Traffic was heavy in the opposing lane and this idiot was on my rear bumper, trying to rub the paint off.
For 5 miles he would dart out from behind my trailer and have to swerve right back in.
He'd flash his lights at me every so often in an attempt to get me to speed up.
I didn't budge.
Finally, his clearing!!
He jets out and tears off down the side of my trailer and nears the rear of my tractor.
WHOOAAAA!!! You didn't see the 3 miles of bumper-to-bumper cars in front of me, did you, there, pal?
Nor the semi coming right at you.
The last I saw him, he was sitting on the opposite shoulder of the road as the rig passed him - and he lost his spot on my backside, having to start again at the rear of the mile long pack behind me.
5) [This is a funny one} I had to turn right onto a nice, wide 3-laner when a young girl pulled into the 'left turn only' lane on that crossroad.
I had plenty of room to turn but, had to button hook close to that section,,,,,,right toward her window.
Her face lit up like she'd seen a ghost as I came within a foot of her door before hooking back into my own lane.
This is when knowing how to read lips comes in handy.
"oh my god. oh my god. oh my god......repeated several times."
6) There are times when a driver will try to be nice and oversteps the line, somewhat.
If someone does stop far enough back so that a semi can clear the intersection and the 4-wheeler isn't looking at the semi driver, the driver will toot his horn instead of waving.
We learn NOT to do this too old ladies....
A fellow driver went to drop a trailer at a factory a couple of blocks away and when he came back through, after said 'tooting', there was an ambulance caring for the driver of the 'tooted' vehicle.
She turned out to be O.K., but we learned when a 'toot' can be too much.
7) I was recently in a parade, quite by accident.
I was driving down a road that led into Coopersville, Mi. and came upon an Antique Car Show/Parade, where they close down the road so the old cars can run stop signs and what=not.
I told the fireman at the intersection that I was on a schedule and if there was anyway around.
"Not in a Rig", he said.
After a second of thought, he says, "Be sure to wave to the people", and let me through the barracade.
First person on the other side does *the gesture*
So, here I am, a (kind of new) tractor-trailer with a mile of classics and antiques in front and behind me.
The first tooting led to a chain reaction....
My horn was tuckered out by the end.
I'm surprised my air system held up and the brakes didn't lock up (unlike a car's brakes, that only apply when you hit the pedal, the air on a semi holds the brakes 'off', and when you hit the pedal it releases the air and applies the brakes. Hence the 'whooshing' and 'psshhing' at stop signs.)
One 'family' set their hose out and wet down the road, trying to get muscle cars to 'light 'em up!'
I would've - but I had glass on board.
8) Semis have 'unsynchronized' transmissions. Pushing in the clutch doesn't really do a whole lot except allow us to start from a stop. The rest is 'timing', or 'floating the gears'.
Therefore, a semi can't slip into a gear at an odd mph - and, if creeping at 1 or 2 mph, has to come to a complete stop to put it into 4th (starting gear. 1-3 are pretty much useless), though some try.
This is where "can't find em, grind 'em" comes from - unknowing, non-semi driving people.
It's easier for a semi to creep and 'float' into 4th at 5mph and flow through a 4-way stop sign than to come to a complete stop and go right away. (There's also a 3 second wait period for the transmission to stop spinning before he can put it into gear without grinding).
That's why he'll 'creep' while you skid to a stop and try to beat him out of the gate.
He's letting you get there first so he can slip though without having to stop, completely. (Unless you happen to be driving a county cruiser.)
Get there, stop, then go - quickly.
There are more stories, some good, some not so good, but I have to crash......
Probably not a good metaphor for a driver.
I'll continue, later.
I'm also a published writer, private pilot and have my Master in Automotive (biggest mistake/waste of my life).
When I started driving the larger vehicles I started to notice something: I'm on the road with complete idiots!
I'm sure you've met several idiots, yourself, when in your tiny 'four wheeler' cars but, when you advance to the larger, more cumbersome vehicles you tend to notice this trend - ten-fold.
Here's a sample of my experiences:
1) M-6 is a 20 mile stretch that shortcuts Grand Rapids, Mi.
At each end the highway the road merges from 2 lanes down to 1 before joining with I-96 (at the east) and I-196 (at the west).
At both ends there are signs for 2 miles that say 'Lane Ends. Merge Right'.
I was in the right lane while this guy in a BMW was on my left side, about mid-span of my trailer, talking on his cell phone.
'Lane Ends. Merge Right.'
He paces my trailer at my center clearance marker.
The lane gets narrower.
Me: "You better speed up, or slow down, bud."
Next sign: *picture of lane narrowing*
He starts nearing the yellow line on the shoulder.
Next sign: 'Lane Ends. Merge Right'.
He's still on his cell, one tire over the yellow line and on the rumble strip, still at my clearance light.
Finally, he's on the shoulder of the highway, doing 65mph, and throws his cell phone on the dash and SPEEDS UP, to pass me! (at this point, it would have been 'less truck' to slow down)
He then proceeds to give ME the finger!!
Dumb, dumb, dumb..
A couple of blasts from my airhorn told him!!
[Moral: Talking on your cell phone triples your chances of being in an accident. Talking on your cell phone around large vehicles quadruples that triple.]
2) I pulled into a parking lot of a factory and turned on my four-ways/hazards (a common practice for semi drivers when in potential pedestrian areas).
I manuevered my truck to back into the dock and got out to open my doors.
While I'm out there I look around for traffic that could interfere (foot, car..etc) All clear.
I get back into my truck and start backing into the dock when - A CAR WHIPS AROUND FROM BEHIND ME!!!! BETWEEN ME AND THE BUILDING!!! 35FT OF DISTANCE!!! WITH KIDS IN THE CAR!!! HONKING HER HORN AT ME!!!
Honking at me for what?! Backing into a dock, clearly marked for doing so, while my four-ways are on, during normal business hours for Shipping and Receiving?
*TOOOOT TOOOOOT* (sounds more manly in real life)
[Moral: Don't drive between a truck and a building. Have patience.]
3) I'm approaching an intersection that I want to turn left onto.
A small car gets to that intersection from my left, but has to stop for the sign, and huddles right over the white line.
I stop short of the intersection (15ft before I even get to the cross road) and wait.
The car sits, blinker turned on for her left.
I sit.
She sits.
I sit.
She waves for me to go.
I wave for her to go - I need her 'spot' to clear the intersection.
She waves for me to go.
O.KAAAY!
I creep forward and pull and exaggerated 'button-hook' (where we pull past the turn and then turn back into it, or take your lane and turn back into ours, resembling a 'button hook' used by seamstress'), but my trailer is still going to run over her hood, and possibly take off her driver's mirror.
I creep closer (1/2 mph, at best), and closer to her car.
She sits.
Closer.
Sits.
Closer.
She tries turning right, to get out of my way and this only leads to her getting further under my trailer.
FINALLY!!!! A stroke of genius hits her to 'Back Up!'.
She backs up.
I clear the intersection and all is well.
[Moral: If a semi stops short of an intersection and you're over the 'white line'... GO! - Don't try to be nice to him and wave him on. He's being nice to you, and you're in his way.]
4) I was driving down a long, straight road, doing 50mph in a 55mph zone.
Traffic was heavy in the opposing lane and this idiot was on my rear bumper, trying to rub the paint off.
For 5 miles he would dart out from behind my trailer and have to swerve right back in.
He'd flash his lights at me every so often in an attempt to get me to speed up.
I didn't budge.
Finally, his clearing!!
He jets out and tears off down the side of my trailer and nears the rear of my tractor.
WHOOAAAA!!! You didn't see the 3 miles of bumper-to-bumper cars in front of me, did you, there, pal?
Nor the semi coming right at you.
The last I saw him, he was sitting on the opposite shoulder of the road as the rig passed him - and he lost his spot on my backside, having to start again at the rear of the mile long pack behind me.
5) [This is a funny one} I had to turn right onto a nice, wide 3-laner when a young girl pulled into the 'left turn only' lane on that crossroad.
I had plenty of room to turn but, had to button hook close to that section,,,,,,right toward her window.
Her face lit up like she'd seen a ghost as I came within a foot of her door before hooking back into my own lane.
This is when knowing how to read lips comes in handy.
"oh my god. oh my god. oh my god......repeated several times."
6) There are times when a driver will try to be nice and oversteps the line, somewhat.
If someone does stop far enough back so that a semi can clear the intersection and the 4-wheeler isn't looking at the semi driver, the driver will toot his horn instead of waving.
We learn NOT to do this too old ladies....
A fellow driver went to drop a trailer at a factory a couple of blocks away and when he came back through, after said 'tooting', there was an ambulance caring for the driver of the 'tooted' vehicle.
She turned out to be O.K., but we learned when a 'toot' can be too much.
7) I was recently in a parade, quite by accident.
I was driving down a road that led into Coopersville, Mi. and came upon an Antique Car Show/Parade, where they close down the road so the old cars can run stop signs and what=not.
I told the fireman at the intersection that I was on a schedule and if there was anyway around.
"Not in a Rig", he said.
After a second of thought, he says, "Be sure to wave to the people", and let me through the barracade.
First person on the other side does *the gesture*
So, here I am, a (kind of new) tractor-trailer with a mile of classics and antiques in front and behind me.
The first tooting led to a chain reaction....
My horn was tuckered out by the end.
I'm surprised my air system held up and the brakes didn't lock up (unlike a car's brakes, that only apply when you hit the pedal, the air on a semi holds the brakes 'off', and when you hit the pedal it releases the air and applies the brakes. Hence the 'whooshing' and 'psshhing' at stop signs.)
One 'family' set their hose out and wet down the road, trying to get muscle cars to 'light 'em up!'
I would've - but I had glass on board.
8) Semis have 'unsynchronized' transmissions. Pushing in the clutch doesn't really do a whole lot except allow us to start from a stop. The rest is 'timing', or 'floating the gears'.
Therefore, a semi can't slip into a gear at an odd mph - and, if creeping at 1 or 2 mph, has to come to a complete stop to put it into 4th (starting gear. 1-3 are pretty much useless), though some try.
This is where "can't find em, grind 'em" comes from - unknowing, non-semi driving people.
It's easier for a semi to creep and 'float' into 4th at 5mph and flow through a 4-way stop sign than to come to a complete stop and go right away. (There's also a 3 second wait period for the transmission to stop spinning before he can put it into gear without grinding).
That's why he'll 'creep' while you skid to a stop and try to beat him out of the gate.
He's letting you get there first so he can slip though without having to stop, completely. (Unless you happen to be driving a county cruiser.)
Get there, stop, then go - quickly.
There are more stories, some good, some not so good, but I have to crash......
Probably not a good metaphor for a driver.
I'll continue, later.
