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Post by Pumpkin on Dec 18, 2008 15:08:47 GMT -5
I really dropped a flatus bomb last night.  I was in our laundry room when I let it rip with a splattery sounding FUFFLAAAFFFBUBBA-BLAAP. Whew! It smelled like road kill on a hot day. Something definitely got to my G. I. track. I think it might have been the pizza we ate the night before. It was a real bomb of a fart! Mrs. Pumpkin had to walk through the area to get out to the garage. I said, "don't come in here, I just far......" It was too late. She had entered the fart zone. She gasped for air and covered her face with the lapel of her coat. "Oh that's BAD!" she said. "Get out of my way. Let me through. Oh, geeez".   Meanwhile, I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk. It wasn't intentional. It was just a case of her being in the wrong place at the wrong time....But that's not hard to do being around me and my talented intestines. ;D |
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Post by Beangirl on Dec 18, 2008 16:17:02 GMT -5
LOL! Great story... ;D
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Dec 19, 2008 20:47:44 GMT -5
The Mrs ought to be prepared for that by now.
My boyfriend knows by how I giggle that I guess I have a special kind of giggle for farting. So thats how I give it away.
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Post by Pumpkin on Dec 23, 2008 14:05:25 GMT -5
I know what you mean Kimm. I'll start laughing, and I will hear Mrs. Pumpkin say, "did you fart?" It gives it away every time.  I'm still tooting rotten. I think that pizza is still kicking my intestines. The last one I did was a hot and high-pitched BLIFE sound. EEWWW! It smells a kind of like the swine barn at a state or county fair. Those BLIFE-type farts are what I call philosophical farts. They cause me to wonder about the meaning of BLIFE and if there is BLIFE after death.  ;D |
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Post by racere7773 on Dec 24, 2008 0:55:36 GMT -5
I dutch ovened my wife the other night. Morning came and she got me back, though. I never thought my eyes would stop watering.
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Dec 26, 2008 12:08:25 GMT -5
I dutch ovened my wife the other night. Morning came and she got me back, though. I never thought my eyes would stop watering. The Dutch oven war is a good way to get a good night sleep. Sweet dreams BBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ;D |
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Post by Pumpkin on Jan 27, 2009 22:23:45 GMT -5
Heheheheheheeeee..... ;D I have turned the whole house into a Dutch oven lately. ;D I'm supposed to get more fiber in my diet, so I started eating fiber bars.....BLAAPaBUBLAAPforfBLAP. I kind of sound like the grand finale of a fireworks display. ;D And I don't smell so good either.
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Post by Pumpkin on Jan 27, 2009 22:25:48 GMT -5
I just ripped one into the couch, a giant VRAAAFFF! ;D
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Post by Blastgirl on Jan 28, 2009 1:37:01 GMT -5
I just ripped one into the couch, a giant VRAAAFFF! ;D That can soak in the cushions for a while. ;D ;D |
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Post by Beangirl on Jan 28, 2009 19:52:13 GMT -5
EWEEEE! I ripped one in the sofa cushion last night eating pop corn. An hour later when I was off to bed I reached down on the coffee table to get the remote and was assaulted by my own stink. |
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Post by Pumpkin on Jan 30, 2009 13:35:08 GMT -5
That is so true about it staying with the cushions.....Mrs. Pumpkin got zapped by it when she sat down on that couch last night. She says, "have you smelled this couch lately? Stop ripping on this thing. I sat down and got a rotten egg puff!" I of course am laughing like a crazy man. I was standing across the room from her and I launched a large VALWUPF of a fart as a salutation. All she could do was shake her head and remark "your foul and disgusting!" I am. ;D |
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Post by latenighter on Feb 2, 2009 8:09:05 GMT -5
That is so true about it staying with the cushions..... Try the car seats for even better action. My girlfriend loaned her car to me for the day...... BAD MOVE! I had been cranking out really rotten bombs all day, right into her pink "Hello Kitty" carseat covers. I had the aircon on so it circulated around in the car. Well I pulled up at the house and she jumped straight into the drivers seat I had just vacated. She slammed the door shut and started to back out the drive. She got 5 yards up the drive, and the brakes slam on, the park brake goes on, and out the door she flew. Then she puked. Lets just say I am NEVER to borrow her car again and I am still in the dog house three days later. LOL |
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Post by Demona on Feb 2, 2009 8:37:01 GMT -5
I fart in my living room chair all the time. I'd been told a fart from the past came back to haunt the person who'd sat down. Usually I get the best noise from the hard dining room chairs though, so I try and run to those if I can.
Pumpkin, I bet you'll need to throw your couch out, not fit for a hobo even! Is it covered in racing stripes too? Lol, how does your house not explode from the toxic gas? Or is smoking and lighting matches illegal inside?
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Post by Pumpkin on Feb 2, 2009 15:22:10 GMT -5
Heheheheee..... ;D I sure wouldn't light up a cigarette after I have tooted up a storm in the house. ;D Mrs. Pumpkin got home from work one night last week and she says "it smells like one giant fart in here!" Well, actually, it was a series of farts that did the job. I was so proud! I don't think I will have company sit on that couch. Well, maybe if I don't like them too much. I does really reek with kind of a cheesy butt crack smell. Car seats....I have stunk up my fair share of those. When we bought a new car a few years ago, I let out a couple of large VALUWUMPF type farts. The Mrs. says "so much for the nice new car smell."  |
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Post by Pumpkin on Feb 5, 2009 22:36:00 GMT -5
I just let one go on my favorite couch that sounded like someone shouted VAROLEFF. ;D It made the couch springs echo. It kind of smells eggy. ;D
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Post by Pumpkin on Feb 5, 2009 22:41:06 GMT -5
Oh, and before I forget, Mrs. Pumpkin went to give me a kiss last night before she went to bed and walked right into a rotten egger. I had just farted about 30 seconds before she came over to where I was watching TV. "You farted didn't you" she exclaimed. That one caught her totally off guard. Luckily she kissed me before she got a whiff of that one! ;D I probably won't get a goodnight kiss tonight though.  |
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Kimm
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Post by Kimm on Feb 6, 2009 20:20:36 GMT -5
Im sure you will. I fired a point blank shot at my boyfriend about half hour ago but he still kissed me goodnight as he went off to work.
I just blew a sbd less than 5 minutes ago my mom sprayed glade at me as I was fanning my butt. My dad goes "Kiimmmmmm YOU are blowing farts arent you?"
I go "Oh yeah."
;D
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Post by fartinggurl on Feb 9, 2009 21:40:33 GMT -5
I really ripped one a few minutes ago. I was walking toward the bathroom, and I let off a BBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! My parents are downstairs, and my dad yelled up,"What the hell was that?" I yelled down, "I was just announcing my presence, and it stinks." My mom then said, "Don't bring it down here."
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