Post by Demona on Jul 30, 2008 3:30:53 GMT -5
Two stories in one really, to know the whole thing you need to hear them both. Yeah, so....
I'd been ripping killer SBD's the past couple days, for the reason I was constipated and backed up BM makes for gross farts when they have to pass through instead of around. The car ride of course was a toxic trip to and from work.
Last night on the way home from with one of guy's I carpool with, I had to cut one. Of course, he knows when I do because I laugh and do the one cheek sneak. Not so sneaky when you draw attention to it though, right?
So, lately the farmers have been putting cow pie fertilizer on the fields. I made the mistake earlier of telling him how my dad used to roll down the windows when we'd pass a truck full of pigs, or a cow pasture. So we happen to be in the right spot, and he rolls down the window!
I say, "I must have crapped my pants!" after sneaking another fart, and he goes, "Was that you? It couldn't be! It sounded wet, do you need a change of underwear?" or some such thing. Which is funny, by the way, because later on, I did have to crap!
The window is rolled back up and the stench is still in the car...of the fertilizer I mean! So yeah, back to my car, and I need to go! I stop at the store, and since construction was going on, I couldn't use the two bathrooms I knew about! I asked a worker who said one is in the back, and I took off for it. A real bummer, I COULDN'T CRAP!
So I walk around, shop, and go home, only to have the urge hit again. Now I'm about to have an accident, and hurry to the house, trying to find the right key in the dark. I make it to the bathroom just in time, but it was a photo finish!
I'm happy it's over with, drawers unstained and everything. If only I'd been driving and could control the windows!
I'd been ripping killer SBD's the past couple days, for the reason I was constipated and backed up BM makes for gross farts when they have to pass through instead of around. The car ride of course was a toxic trip to and from work.
Last night on the way home from with one of guy's I carpool with, I had to cut one. Of course, he knows when I do because I laugh and do the one cheek sneak. Not so sneaky when you draw attention to it though, right?
So, lately the farmers have been putting cow pie fertilizer on the fields. I made the mistake earlier of telling him how my dad used to roll down the windows when we'd pass a truck full of pigs, or a cow pasture. So we happen to be in the right spot, and he rolls down the window!
I say, "I must have crapped my pants!" after sneaking another fart, and he goes, "Was that you? It couldn't be! It sounded wet, do you need a change of underwear?" or some such thing. Which is funny, by the way, because later on, I did have to crap!
The window is rolled back up and the stench is still in the car...of the fertilizer I mean! So yeah, back to my car, and I need to go! I stop at the store, and since construction was going on, I couldn't use the two bathrooms I knew about! I asked a worker who said one is in the back, and I took off for it. A real bummer, I COULDN'T CRAP!
So I walk around, shop, and go home, only to have the urge hit again. Now I'm about to have an accident, and hurry to the house, trying to find the right key in the dark. I make it to the bathroom just in time, but it was a photo finish!
I'm happy it's over with, drawers unstained and everything. If only I'd been driving and could control the windows!
