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Post by Pumpkin on Apr 2, 2008 12:58:36 GMT -5
Well, in honor of turning the big 5-0 last year, I was told I was getting a colonoscopy. I put it off as long as I could, but I finally did it.
When I was in the recovery room, I let out what must have been a 15 second fart. Well, nobody put a stop watch to it, but I swear it had to be at least that long. It was a satisfying BUDdududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududu
I was getting rid of the air used in the procedure. WHEW! That felt good! ;D No stink at that point. There was nothing left inside to stink it up.
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Post by Phil on Apr 2, 2008 13:47:42 GMT -5
I wonder what the worlds record for hang time is come to think of it.
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Mist.
Moderator 
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix
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Post by Mist. on Apr 17, 2008 19:47:33 GMT -5
Longest Fart
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
Longest Turd (sorry but this amazed me)
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
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Post by jesusaurus on Apr 17, 2008 21:24:31 GMT -5
Im pretty sure I've seen a longer one >_> I won't say more than it involved a cruel prank and tinyurl....
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Mist.
Moderator
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix
Posts: 544
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Post by Mist. on Apr 17, 2008 23:12:58 GMT -5
longer than 12 ft?
wow
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Post by fartinggurl on Apr 18, 2008 20:36:32 GMT -5
Longest Fart Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds. Longest Turd (sorry but this amazed me) The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state. That is long hang time for a fart. The giant turd one I heard before. |
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Post by Demona on Apr 23, 2008 16:05:12 GMT -5
Longest Fart Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds. Longest Turd (sorry but this amazed me) The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state. Woah! A real toilet python, was it? How in the world is that possible? He must have had to GO! Unfair to ban anyone from a bathroom, unless he crapped on the floor or something. |
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Mist.
Moderator
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix
Posts: 544
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Post by Mist. on Apr 23, 2008 22:18:34 GMT -5
Longest Fart Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds. Longest Turd (sorry but this amazed me) The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state. Woah! A real toilet python, was it? How in the world is that possible? He must have had to GO! Unfair to ban anyone from a bathroom, unless he crapped on the floor or something. He must have pooped on his way to the sink. |
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Post by Pumpkin on May 2, 2008 20:40:58 GMT -5
Pythons....This reminds my of my illustrious days as a janitor. I came across a brown toilet snake one night that looped around the the bowl. I foolishly tried to flush the thing away. Much to my horror, it swirled around the bowl once, then stood on end. A long piece of it was above the rim. I had to jump backwards from the turd to keep from getting touched by it.  Finally, the turd collapsed under its own weight. Tragically for me, the airborne portion landed on the floor. Now I had an even bigger mess to clean up.  A clogged toilet and a turd on the floor. |
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Kimm
Moderator
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Post by Kimm on May 2, 2008 21:00:18 GMT -5
I have a lot of respect for people who do janitorial jobs because cleaning up poop and barf has to the the 2 worst things about the job.
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Post by Mahnarch on May 3, 2008 1:22:48 GMT -5
Billy Madison: "You want some of this milk?"
Janitor: "I'd rather have a beer."
That exchange makes so much more sense to me, now.
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Post by Pumpkin on May 4, 2008 19:30:45 GMT -5
When I saw that monumental mess, I said out loud, "I better call the Janitor"......What was I thinking? I was the friggen janitor. |
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Post by Sun of Centaur Moon of Lion on May 26, 2008 21:03:45 GMT -5
Great story Pumpkin ;D I'm with you Kimm, I have a great deal of respect for janitor's and custodian's as well, I don't have a weak stomach or anything but the thought of cleaning up poop smeared on a toilet or barf or worse yet barf piss and puke all at once, well  [insert barfing creature icon here] Janitor's are definitely advised to have stomach's of cast - iron ;D I used to have a summer high-school job as a janitor on my high school campus, fortunately I never had any really stomach churning catastrophe's to clean, much of my work was outside in the fresh air,But I did do my share of bathroom cleaning, But after seeing the condition some public restrooms are left in I know that if I made a career out of janitorial work at more than one place, my day's would come when I would have my own puke to clean. Maybe I got lucky and the people at my particular high-school were unusually neat possibly??? |
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