An 'Exclusive with edlinfan'

[Mahnarch]

Mahnarch, dressed in a samarai outfit, battles a masked ninja in the tree laden forest in ancient China.

Swords clash, emitting sparks among the dried tinders as two sets of feet dash to and fro.

Mahnarch perries - quickly blocked by the dark ninja

Mahnarch: [dubbed from Cantonese] "Ha Ha! I see you're skilled in the arts of 'Perry and Block'"

Ninja: [dubbed from Cantonese] "Ha ha! Yes! I spend many years in 'Perry and Block'"

Mahnarch: [dubbed from Cantonese] "Ha ha!"

Ninja: [dubbed from Cantonese] "Ha ha!"

Mahnarch: [dubbed from Cantonese] "Ha Ha!"

Ninja: [dubbed from Cantonese] "Ha Ha!"

The two look at each other.

Mahnarch [in English] "Wanna get lunch?"

Ninja: (pulls off his mask, revealing edlinfan) "Ok."


***

Edlinfan:

1. How come you don't capitalize your name?
2. In real life, how much shorter than a 10ft pole are you?
3. If you worked at Dunder-Mifflin, who would you be?
4. What brand name of tires are on your car/truck?
5. Is your mail box metal or plastic?
6. How many rooms in your house are carpeted? (and what color?)
7. Will you be at least 35 years old by Election Day this year ('08)?
8. How close to your house is the nearest rail road track?
9. How many tatoos do you have? (and of what?)
10. What is an 'edlin'? and why are you a fan?
11. What kind of window dressing is in the room you're in?
12. Name one thing near you that is........green (besides Lewasite).
13. Does your computer chair have arm rests?
14. Do you have a bat problem (live ones)?
15. If I were to shave your head, would I have enough hair to make a wig?
16. What is your best friend's first name?
17. Do you own a John Deere?
18. If you were to joust with a fellow knight, what color horse would you ride?
19. What color is your cell phone?
20. What time zone do you live in?

21. Have you ever dressed as a woman for Halloween (or other)?

[edlin]

START OF ACT TWO
Curtain rises to reveal a posh and exclusive restaurant in the midst of ancient China. At a large table sit edlinfan and Mahnarch, surrounded by appetizers, freshly baked bread, pastries, and kung-pao chicken.

Waiter: [British English] "And what will you gentlemen be having?"
Mahnarch: [dubbed from Cantonese] "I would like the New York steak, cooked rare, with a side of tasty potatoes and garnished with the severed heads of my enemies."
Elf: [dubbed from Cantonese] "I request the bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. Hold the lettuce, tomato, and bread, if you will. Oh, and I also request extra bacon."
Waiter: [British English] "Um... sirs, I'm afraid that will be impossible."
Elf: [dubbed from Cantonese]: *jumps to his feet* "This restaurant is not sufficiently righteous! HA!"
*overturned tables, general chaos*
*massive revolt. the restaurant is, inexplicably, mostly filled with peasants (and pirates!) who are twirling nunchaku, waving cutlasses, and generally being defeated in glorious ways*

And amidst the carnage come the following words [dubbed from Cantonese]:

1. How come you don't capitalize your name?

My sign-in is not capitalized because I didn't want to take time to press the 'SHIFT' key every time I logged in. As for why I refer to myself as 'edlinfan' and not 'Edlinfan'... good question! I don't know why, and I never stopped to wonder.

2. In real life, how much shorter than a 10ft pole are you?

A bit more than four feet.

3. If you worked at Dunder-Mifflin, who would you be?

ha! I would never work in a megacorp. (I don't watch The Office.)
...but, I'd probably end up as some unseen person who actually runs the entire place.

Or if you will settle for a Dilbert analogy, I would be Saint Dogbert. Out! out! I command you demons of stupidity to be gone!

4. What brand name of tires are on your car/truck?

Michelin.
Size is P205/75R14, if you were wondering.

5. Is your mail box metal or plastic?

Metal. Yes, it's in the process of rusting away into nothing....

6. How many rooms in your house are carpeted? (and what color?)

Three, not counting hallways (which are hard to classify).
1) My bedroom (ochre)
2) My parents' bedroom (ochre)
3) The computer room (faded cyan)

Everything else is wood, tile, or vinyl (although we also use lots of throw rugs).

7. Will you be at least 35 years old by Election Day this year ('08)?

No. Me, I'm still a young'n.

8. How close to your house is the nearest rail road track?

Roughly eight miles.

9. How many tatoos do you have? (and of what?)

I am not interested in injecting myself with artificial pigmentation just for extra style. I'm dripping with style already. xD

If I ever were to get a tattoo (unlikely) it would almost certainly be one of Tux the Linux Penguin... but don't hold your breath.

10. What is an 'edlin'? and why are you a fan?

EDLIN was an archaic DOS text editor. (The great-granddaddy of Notepad). I found it on a DOS disk, played with it, found it to be rather awkward... and liked it anyway... so I named myself in its honor.
What can I say? I needed a screen name.

11. What kind of window dressing is in the room you're in?

Shades, made of accordion-folded fabric. They are of the pathetic type that won't even stay raised unless you tie their cords to little plastic spurs. Also, it is easy to inadvertently frag them (as I have discovered and re-discovered over time).

12. Name one thing near you that is........green (besides Lewasite).

My mouse pad is an interesting limey-turquoise color. (Imagine about halfway between this post's background and deep Lewasite green.)

13. Does your computer chair have arm rests?

Yes, but they are too low to be useful.

14. Do you have a bat problem (live ones)?

no, but they occasionally can be found circling my secret castle hideo---ahum, house. Yes, my house. I think they are attracted by the severed heads of my enemies on stak---*COUGH* *cough* the mosquitoes. Thus in truth, there are a lot of mosquitoes around here.
0_o

15. If I were to shave your head, would I have enough hair to make a wig?

Only if you like really, really short wigs.

16. What is your best friend's first name?

Xanthe.

17. Do you own a John Deere?

I own a tiny metal toy John Deere, does that count?

18. If you were to joust with a fellow knight, what color horse would you ride?

Chestnut brown.

Black would suggest I'm the evil overlord (knights can't be evil overlords!) and white would suggest I'm Gandalf. Brown, however, suggests neither, and is awesome in general, in a way that dappled white-brown and black-brown cannot be. On the other hand, I might show up on a pale horse just to see my opponent's expression... lol.

19. What color is your cell phone?

Silvery gray. (I had to open my backpack, pull out the phone, and look at it... I'm not a 'cell-phone person'.)

20. What time zone do you live in?

Pacific time.

21. Have you ever dressed as a woman for Halloween (or other)?

Urr... no.

[Phil]

This is a very creative interview.

I'm Why are computer chair armrests higher?