I'm not sure where to post this

[thunderbird]

I don't log in all the time as everybody knows.

I was texting and talking to Classicblast and blastgirl and blastgirl said for me to turn my computer on and go to lewasite so I did.

I don't use the net taht much for discussion.

Well the birthday thread tells you that I just tunred 39 last week. I am the eldest for the clan of 3 of us and I am unmarried. I am the only unmarried out of the trio.

I haven't dated that much for a man nearing 40 either. I had my high school girlfriend. Then during my time in the army I dated a few women nothing serious then when I got home I had about an 8 year relationship that didn't end in marriage.

It wsa just just kind of expected from both our families that we were at any time going to make the announcemtne that we were going to get married.

In 2002 we called it quits to the shock of both families. I have not dated anybody long term or seriously since.

Several people assumed I was in mourning. Not so though. I just never got serious about anybody enough to become involved.

Last August I went to a wedding and casually asked a woman I knew a little bit in passing.

For the last 3 months we have become an item. I address her as my girlfriend. A term I have been guarded about using since the last longterm relationship.

I'm not a person to jump into things but I am seriously thinking this might be the one.

There's a age gap. She is just going to be 30 in January making it almost a 10 year span. I really only figured we woudl go to the wedding with her as my date and that would probably be it. But we have gotten along so well I'm delighted.

My family and friends are shocked because they kind of figured me as a confirmed bachelor.

My younger brothers have both been married for years and both of them have kids. I'm not afraid to have a family. I have a huge house I built over 10 years ago. There would be no need to move. I could find a way to put up with some recarpeting and even drapes a color I dont' care for I would be ready to consider tastes that are not all navy blue and gray.

I'm not too old to start a family I woudl probably be older than most of the other kids fathers but not stupidly.

I've just not felt this way in years. So I shall place it here for reply.

[Phil]

You'll know when you find the person who is right for you. And age has no bearing.

I got married at age 25. A number of my friends are married some of them are separated/divorced, there's 1 of my friends that remains unmarried. When we were all teenagers the girls clung to him too. We all guessed he would be the 1st and its played out differently.

Age is not anything to do with when you get married. I have some of the divorced friends I think it was both their decision and their wife to get married because family wanted them to and other people they knew were getting married so they did.

That's not a good reason.

Even in some cases a kid was on the way. IT's better for the kid to have parents that are married but I'm not saying that getting married just because there's a kid coming is right either.

At this point I can't imagine not being married. Its different for everybody though it just is.

[fartinggurl]

I'm 22, and I know for a fact I'm not ready for marriage yet. I have things I want to accomplish before I even think about getting married, but that's just me.

[Phil]

Like I said it's different for everybody. Its not always about age too sometimes its about are you ready at this stage? Thunderbird is considering it now presumably he thought about marriage with his girlfriend of 8 years. However that did not happen.

I don't with to pry there's any number of things that can happen maybe they stayed together for 8 years but never considered marriage.

I knew my wife in high school we went out more or less the whole time with some skips in between. By the time we got married we knew each other quite a long time.

My guess is that had we not known each other for so many years I woudl not have been ready to be married at age 25.

For me it's great. My wife and I don't annoy each other [at least not any worse than any 2 people do].

Also, at 22 I was far from considering marriage even though 25 is not that many years away there's an establishment step that happens between those years. I can't really explain it in print though. I will think about it and try to convert it to posts.

[Classicblast]

I was 25 or 26 when we got married Blastgirl is one year younger than me almost to the day.

[Phil]

Like I said it's not about age. It's better to do it once and do it right. It's not important to be 1st. There's guys around my age on their 2nd and 3rd marriage already that's not so good.

[Jason O'Lewa]

i dont know how old I would be to get married

[fartinggurl]

Nov 24, 2008 14:25:34 GMT -5 Phil said:

Like I said it's not about age. It's better to do it once and do it right. It's not important to be 1st. There's guys around my age on their 2nd and 3rd marriage already that's not so good.

I agree. If and when I decide to get married, I want to make sure it's with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, and someone who respects what I believe. My best friends have gone through boyfriends like toilet paper, and so far I've only had one boyfriend, but that was back when I was in high school, and it didn't last long because he wanted to go farther than I wanted to. I broke it off after about two months since I was not ready to go that far, if you get my drift.

[dannyboy]

I dont think age should make time pressure for anybody to get married. You get married or not depending on finding the right person.

[Kimm]

Im glad our other sister didnt marry a guy she dated for a few years. My dad wanted to kill him because he was an idiot. I might marry my boyfriend pretty soon but I dont know if were ready for that yet but Im sure we will tie that knot sooner or later.

Thunderbird is a cool guy with lots of fun things, he has boats, snowmobiles, motorcycles and a super sweet house that he built. Lots of girls would find themselves lucky to marry him.

[Jason O'Lewa]

i want to do a lot of things before getting married maybe thunderbird had teh right idea to not think about it until age 39.
you can still have lots of kids if you wanted youre a young man really
people dont have to get married in their 20s.

[Phil]

Thunderbird hasn't exactly said that he is going to be getting married only that this new lady in his life has made him entertain thoughts that he hadn't had in some time.

I'm lucky because I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything. Except for maybe some really good porkchops, but I really do like being married.

I have a number of people I know that are between 35 and 45 that are getting married for the 2nd time, if not 3rd, and they're starting families again. If it takes twice to get it right Thunderbird has had an awesome life being single through his 20s and 30s and now getting ready to settle down in the backsides of 30s.

[Classicblast]

Dec 6, 2008 11:05:40 GMT -5 Jason O'Lewa said:

i want to do a lot of things before getting married maybe thunderbird had teh right idea to not think about it until age 39.
you can still have lots of kids if you wanted youre a young man really
people dont have to get married in their 20s.

This is super awesome.

The youngest active site member reminds one of the oldest members that he is still young. Not that he isn't right, but 11 year old Jason reminding 39 year old Thunderbird that he is a young guy and has plenty of time to make that decision is priceless.

He is right though.

Marriage is something you should be very definite about not try it out figuring you can get out of it if it doesn't work out. People should not go into their marriage unless they are believing lifetime commitment.

[Mahnarch]

All I have to say about marriage is.....


NNOOOOO!!!! RUN AWAY!!

I've never had luck with the ladies - well, at least the ones that have become girlfriends (and one making it to 'wife' status).
They're always sweet and innocent at first. Then comes the torrential storms.

If you need an example, watch the Cheech and Chong classic The Corsican Brothers

They chase these girls around for a long time.
When they finally say, "I do", the girls turn into witches.

[Phil]

Most married guys paint a grim picture of married life. I've had no problems with it at all. Sure it's not perfect but I wouldn't go back. I'm happy

[Kimm]

What is it guys talk about marriage like its a death sentence. Its shouldnt be that way. I hope it doesnt come across that way to everybody.

[Jason O'Lewa]

i just menseoned this thread to my dad and said what everybody is talking about mariage
my dad said that he thinks him and my mom get along better than most married people do

not that there are not some others that have a good relationship too but my dad swears that him and my mom are friendlier than most people after 12 years of being married

[Kevin]

I'm looking forward to being married... eventually. I'd rather be well out of college and financially stable first.