Post by Mahnarch on Apr 25, 2008 4:52:04 GMT -5
You know those movies where some guy/gal is driving just fine down the back roads of some backwoods county when, suddenly, their car starts sputtering and dies, only to come to rest on the rail roads tracks?
And, only seconds later, you hear the far distant blast of a horn - just as the barricades lights up and you hear, "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding...."
The stranded driver tries as they might to crank that engine over and either gets plowed into and dies, or abandons the vehicle just as the behemoth locomotive sends their only mode of transport barreling down the tracks in an explosive ball of flaming glory...
Well, I ran into that same type of situation, tonight.
Only, it ended up with me nearly pushing a guy off the road and violently approaching him to punch his lights out with my fifth wheel pick.
***
So, there I was.
I got off the highway in Coopersville and ended up behind some guy talking on his cell phone in an older, early 90s Olds Cutless Supreme.
He did alright for the 10-11 miles between the highway and the railroad incident so I didn't pay him much mind.
In fact, he actually got about half a mile ahead of me on a long straight away.
Then, we came up to the intersection of interest.
Now, even if a car is in front of a semi with a long trailer on it, the T/T will still have plenty of room to clear the tracks and be behind 1 car.
There is a RR crossing and then a stop sign shortly after for a crossroad.
I stopped AT the RR crossing to check for any trains and found the tracks clear (you can see forever down the track to the left but, only a mile to the right) so I proceeded ahead only to find Mr. Guy deciding to suddenly stop short of the intersection.
Now, when I say "short", I don't mean "his bumper hadn't quite reached the white line, yet.
I mean, "He had enough room to build a house between him and the intersection!
Now, I stress people stopping short of intersections as a courtesy to semi drivers.....but, THERE HAS TO BE A SEMI COMING AT YOU, not behind you!
So, I'm behind Mr. GuyonCellphone, waiting for cross traffic to clear when I hear in the distance "wwwooooo. woooooo".
I looked out my right window in time to see a faint light peeking over a slight grade on the rail road tracks about a mile away.....
Then, I happen to look in my right side mirror and notice that my rear tandems (trailer wheels) are still straddling the tracks and I've got about 5-6 cars right behind me.....
*slow motion*......OOOOOOHHHHHH FFFFFFUUUUUDDDDDGGGEEE!!!! ([narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!]
Now, in a more-than-slight panic, I'm looking at:
Train.
Guy.
Traffic.
Train.
Guy.
Traffic.
Train.
Guy.
Last CAR GOING BY.
Train.
Guy.
CLEAR MAIN ROAD - WITH ONE CAR IN THE DISTANCE!!!
.......guy just sitting there.....
GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!!!
......guy just sits there.
Train.
Guy.
Car coming.
Train.
Guy.
Car coming!
TRAIN!!!!
"DUDE!!!!!, I SWEAR!! IF YOU DO NOT MOVE, I WILL PUSH YOU OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!
*HHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
(Seriously, it took that long of an air horn blast from me to get this guy to realize that he was able to go....and he'd better do it quick!]
I swear, I had my transmission in 3rd and the clutch was letting off the the floor to ram this guy before he finally started moving forward!
I swept up behind him and if I was any closer I would've taken his rear bumper off before I swerved to the right just to get off the tracks.
I barely got my trailer straightened onto the side road before the barricades lit up.
I bet the engineer was near having a heart attack, too - all because some kid wanted to chat to his girlfriend - possibly to 'hook up' later.
***
After that, I had to drive 2 miles out of my way just to get back on my route to where I was going (and,,,,,shh!! The way I took was posted "No Trucks"... Luckily, there weren't any bridges limited to 8 tons, or low hanging power lines.)
So, it's official!
When I get into the White House, NO CELL PHONES in the car, unless you can pass a special 'Competency Test'.
And, only seconds later, you hear the far distant blast of a horn - just as the barricades lights up and you hear, "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding...."
The stranded driver tries as they might to crank that engine over and either gets plowed into and dies, or abandons the vehicle just as the behemoth locomotive sends their only mode of transport barreling down the tracks in an explosive ball of flaming glory...
Well, I ran into that same type of situation, tonight.
Only, it ended up with me nearly pushing a guy off the road and violently approaching him to punch his lights out with my fifth wheel pick.
***
So, there I was.
I got off the highway in Coopersville and ended up behind some guy talking on his cell phone in an older, early 90s Olds Cutless Supreme.
He did alright for the 10-11 miles between the highway and the railroad incident so I didn't pay him much mind.
In fact, he actually got about half a mile ahead of me on a long straight away.
Then, we came up to the intersection of interest.
Now, even if a car is in front of a semi with a long trailer on it, the T/T will still have plenty of room to clear the tracks and be behind 1 car.
There is a RR crossing and then a stop sign shortly after for a crossroad.
I stopped AT the RR crossing to check for any trains and found the tracks clear (you can see forever down the track to the left but, only a mile to the right) so I proceeded ahead only to find Mr. Guy deciding to suddenly stop short of the intersection.
Now, when I say "short", I don't mean "his bumper hadn't quite reached the white line, yet.
I mean, "He had enough room to build a house between him and the intersection!
Now, I stress people stopping short of intersections as a courtesy to semi drivers.....but, THERE HAS TO BE A SEMI COMING AT YOU, not behind you!
So, I'm behind Mr. GuyonCellphone, waiting for cross traffic to clear when I hear in the distance "wwwooooo. woooooo".
I looked out my right window in time to see a faint light peeking over a slight grade on the rail road tracks about a mile away.....
Then, I happen to look in my right side mirror and notice that my rear tandems (trailer wheels) are still straddling the tracks and I've got about 5-6 cars right behind me.....
*slow motion*......OOOOOOHHHHHH FFFFFFUUUUUDDDDDGGGEEE!!!! ([narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!]
Now, in a more-than-slight panic, I'm looking at:
Train.
Guy.
Traffic.
Train.
Guy.
Traffic.
Train.
Guy.
Last CAR GOING BY.
Train.
Guy.
CLEAR MAIN ROAD - WITH ONE CAR IN THE DISTANCE!!!
.......guy just sitting there.....
GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!!!
......guy just sits there.
Train.
Guy.
Car coming.
Train.
Guy.
Car coming!
TRAIN!!!!
"DUDE!!!!!, I SWEAR!! IF YOU DO NOT MOVE, I WILL PUSH YOU OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!
*HHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
(Seriously, it took that long of an air horn blast from me to get this guy to realize that he was able to go....and he'd better do it quick!]
I swear, I had my transmission in 3rd and the clutch was letting off the the floor to ram this guy before he finally started moving forward!
I swept up behind him and if I was any closer I would've taken his rear bumper off before I swerved to the right just to get off the tracks.
I barely got my trailer straightened onto the side road before the barricades lit up.
I bet the engineer was near having a heart attack, too - all because some kid wanted to chat to his girlfriend - possibly to 'hook up' later.
***
After that, I had to drive 2 miles out of my way just to get back on my route to where I was going (and,,,,,shh!! The way I took was posted "No Trucks"... Luckily, there weren't any bridges limited to 8 tons, or low hanging power lines.)
So, it's official!
When I get into the White House, NO CELL PHONES in the car, unless you can pass a special 'Competency Test'.